Humorous Quotes
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Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse.
William Gilbert -
In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.
Cynthia Heimel
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My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
Mike Myers -
The great thing about costume jewelry is that there's something for everyone - there are very humorous pieces and very extravagant and outrageous pieces.
Judith Miller -
Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray.(when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac )
Seymour Cray -
I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room
Mercedes McCambridge -
You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it's humorous, all the attention to it, because it's hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that's happened to me.
Steve Jobs -
3 pencils and quadrille pads.(when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer )
Seymour Cray
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Possibly the only thing we Notekillers place on a higher pedestal than music is laughs, so, of course, we also know that the idea of the title is a kind of humorous futility.
David First -
The only possible conclusion the social sciences can draw is: some do, some don't.
Ernest Rutherford -
An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten.
Constance Rourke -
Never draw anything you can copy, never copy anything you can trace, never trace anything you can cut out and paste up.
Wally Wood -
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper -
There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up.
Rex Stout
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck -
An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
William Castle -
Mr. Starr, have you no shame? Facts and law are always subordinated to the will of the American people.
William H. Ginsburg -
The most colossal display of wise, inspiring, and humorous metaphors ever exhibited in one place.
Richard Lederer -
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Moses Hadas -
I'm not going to parse the statement. You've got the statement I made earlier and the statement speaks for itself.
Mike McCurry
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
Erma Bombeck -
The concerts you enjoy together/ Neighbors you annoy together/ Children you destroy together,/ That keep marriage in tact.
Stephen Sondheim -
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck -
With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck