Comedian Quotes

• I'm a comedian, and I decided I wanted to be a comedian when I was eight years old watching old Saturday Night Live episodes. I never decided to be a rapper because I'm not a rapper.

  

  Andy Samberg
  • Live
  • Night
  • Saturday

• Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use the spoon. I like to consider myself the big bowl-like area of the spoon that holds all the stuff you like.

  

  Brian Regan
  • Cutting
  • Analogies
  • Spoons

• Some guys said 'Here's bop!' Wham! They said, 'Here's something we can make money on!' Wham! 'Here's a comedian!' Wham! Here's a guy who talks funny talk!'

  

  Charlie Parker
  • Money
  • Guy
  • Funny

• We me and my husband both had our things. Seth was the artist, I was the singer. We were like "You do your thing, I'll do my thing and never the two shall meet." I think we had a healthy competition going through our childhood. But I sort of left the funny stuff to him, I said "You're the comedian, you're the jokester, you do that I'll be the more serious one." You need that kind of balance in the family.

  

  Rachael MacFarlane
  • Family
  • Artist
  • Childhood

• My personal favorite is Woody Allen, who is just amazing as a comedian.

  

  Vir Das
  • Favorite
  • Comedian
  • Woody Allen

• The key to comedy is commitment - if you're afraid, you shouldn't be a comedian.

  

  Nick Swardson
  • Commitment
  • Key
  • Comedian

• Half the time, you go on any one of these news sites, whether it be a Yahoo or a Google, and one of the top headlines is always, "Did a comedian go too far?" or "Comedian offends." It's like, "Really? Comedian?" A person that's supposed to make funny and make silly and historically was the only person who was allowed to make fun of the king? We're the ones that you're taking seriously?

  

  Brad Williams
  • King
  • Supposed
  • Headlines

• I'm more of a comedian. I wouldn't mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool.

  

  Cheyenne Kimball
  • Comedian
  • SNL
  • Saturday Night Live

• Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Comedian
  • Laziness

• I had to write a comedy set and film a show at the same time. And it's the second time I've been up on stage as a stand-up comedian with untested material. I was saying it out loud for the first time that night. It didn't go how I expected, but in the best possible way.

  

  Zach Anner
  • Up
  • Time
  • Writing

• I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.

  

  Steve Martin
  • People
  • Funny
  • Inspiration

• Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude.

  

  Etta James
  • Attitude
  • Comedian
  • Little Child

• Canadian comedians are generally more well-rounded... They have to do a lot more. In order to have a career in this country, you have to do everything. And in the States you can narrow-cast, you can be just a sitcom performer or a stand-up comedian or a sketch performer.

  

  Scott Thompson
  • Country
  • Order
  • Careers

• I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

  

  Adam Sandler
  • Up
  • Alone
  • Stills

• Not a time with him passed that I didn't say, "You should've been a comedian." [Vincent Price] was hilarious. He was just such a quick, funny wit. I don't think most people would think that about him, and it was really surprising to me. But man, the guy had a brilliant wit.

  

  Cassandra Peterson
  • Time
  • Hilarious
  • Passed

• One of the things I used to dream of is that if I could just be funny like Red Skelton, if I could be a comedian like Red Skelton - that's what I watched on TV - then maybe I would have friends. I just remember that if I told stories to my friends, they listened. And in my family, with nine people talking at the same time, it's really hard to get people to listen to you. We were all craving attention.

  

  Sandra Cisneros
  • People
  • Remember
  • Dream

• I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

  

  Carrot Top
  • People
  • Wish
  • Comedian

• I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

  

  Adam Sandler
  • Guy
  • Actors
  • Excited

• If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.

  

  Jack Roy
  • Chance
  • Comedian
  • Material

• I don't have to try and be a comedian to fit in the band. It's such a comfortable vibe. Had I been born in Sheffield, I probably would have been in the original lineup.

  

  Vivian Campbell Def Leppard
  • Band
  • Born
  • Line Up

• I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. [...] There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross' type of standup.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Thinking
  • Comedy
  • Style

• Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.

  

  Dave Allen
  • Comedian
  • Finger

• Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.

  

  Cate Blanchett
  • Comedian
  • Woody Allen
  • Dramatist

• For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Culture
  • Kind
  • Luck

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