Funny Quotes
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I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge."
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It's the squares who know how to fly the fighter planes and operate the missiles and the bombs and work the M-16s. Liberals would still be fumbling with the federally mandated trigger locks.
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
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It's funny, we all really, really got along. I don't know how it was in years past but this year, I was really with a good group of people. No one tried to sabotage each other or steal the other ones moments.
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If you're funny as a woman, people think it might be because someone else helped you.
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It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months.
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A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
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When I read a script, I have to see the funny, and if I can see it's funny, it helps me to be able to transmit that.
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I'm not a funny person.
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It's funny: I kinda still float under the radar. I'm not tall like a New York Knick; I'm not a heavy, strong New York Giant or New York Jet. I blend in pretty well. A lot of people don't recognize me too many places. More men recognize me than women.
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You can succeed as a terrible director, but try doing that with stand-up: try being a terrible comedian and getting up on stage. The funny will win out very, very quickly.
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Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do.
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For me, 'Jaws' is much more of an adventure movie, but when it's scary, it's terrifying. When it's funny, it's hilarious. When there's drama, it's the most sincere stuff on screen. When there's adventure, there's swashbuckle. It's all those things.
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To play the leading man in a 'Three Stooges' movie, you've got to think funny. Thank God I think funny.
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I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing?
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People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case.
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I watched a lot of soap operas like 'General Hospital' and 'Days Of Our Lives.' When it came to movies, my parents were quite strict. They would watch 'Flash Dance' but wouldn't let us see the whole film because Jennifer Beals' character was a stripper. It was so funny when I finally saw the whole film. I thought she was a ballerina!
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It's funny, as a little kid, you look up to those guys who you play as in 'Madden,' and now to see myself in the game, it's an honor.
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I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.
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I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny.
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Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
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The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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For years, I was either referred to as a 'rubber-faced funny man' or 'the 'Men Behaving Badly' star.'
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I guess there's nothing funny about a guy who looks conservative and has it all together, but it's satisfying to see a conservative guy crumbling inside, and I think a lot of American comedy has cottoned on to that.
