Funny Quotes
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McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.
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It's certainly easy to mock some things ... Oddly enough though I've never found it easy to mock anything of value. Only things that are tawdry and fatuous - perhaps it's just me.
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Next to music beer was best.
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When you start out, it sometimes feels like you're fighting audiences every night just to prove that you're funny.
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As with anything that involves emotional pain, comedy isn't too far behind. There's that element of no matter how painful something is - as long as it is not you that is going through it - it can be funny.
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Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it.
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Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met.
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As long as the wrong feels right - it's like I'm in flight.
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Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
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It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
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If I'm in a serious play, I often think to myself, 'I could make that line funny.'
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When we shot that Westworld, it was so funny. Not funny - I mean, like, funny-strange because I, personally as an actress and as a person, am so used to having to play the damsel, that when we were shooting that scene, and Jimmi looked at me and said, "Dolores, run," I ran. Then I stopped myself, and I turned around and I went, "Oh my God. I'm so used to running."
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"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called." ... That's what they say - but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, "Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!"
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At school I was very shy. I wasn't funny really.
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I think that certain things are funny and certain things are okay to make fun of - including myself.
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You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.
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If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it?
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I think the second you think that you're funny is when you stop being funny.
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A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
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As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth.
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The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!
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My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.
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I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.
