Funny Quotes
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You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.
Jerry Coleman
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She's strong! And scary...I bet she's single...I'd put money on it.
Masashi Kishimoto
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It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
Steve Martin
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As humourless a lump of dough as ever held a torchlight vigil outside the South African Embassy or stuck an AIDS awareness ribbon on an unwilling first-nighter.
Stephen Fry
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck
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I can go right, I can go left, I'm amphibious.
Charles Shackleford
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When we shot that Westworld, it was so funny. Not funny - I mean, like, funny-strange because I, personally as an actress and as a person, am so used to having to play the damsel, that when we were shooting that scene, and Jimmi looked at me and said, "Dolores, run," I ran. Then I stopped myself, and I turned around and I went, "Oh my God. I'm so used to running."
Evan Rachel Wood
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A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
Tommy Cooper
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck
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I think the second you think that you're funny is when you stop being funny.
Mila Kunis
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As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth.
Murray Walker
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Steve Martin
