Funny Quotes
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Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met.
Erma Bombeck
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The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.
Steve Martin
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When we shot that Westworld, it was so funny. Not funny - I mean, like, funny-strange because I, personally as an actress and as a person, am so used to having to play the damsel, that when we were shooting that scene, and Jimmi looked at me and said, "Dolores, run," I ran. Then I stopped myself, and I turned around and I went, "Oh my God. I'm so used to running."
Evan Rachel Wood
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That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year.
Murray Walker
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Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
Russell Baker
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At school I was very shy. I wasn't funny really.
Michel Gondry
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"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called." ... That's what they say - but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, "Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!"
Brian Regan
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The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0.
Jerry Coleman
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The history of those who shed those other tears, the history of those anonymous millions, is what Terkel wants readers and listeners to come away with. What's it like to be that goofy little soldier, scared stiff, with his bayonet aimed at Christ? What's it like to have been a woman in a defense-plant job during World War II? What's it like to be a kid at the front lines? It's all funny and tragic at the same time.
Studs Terkel
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I can go right, I can go left, I'm amphibious.
Charles Shackleford
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For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
Erma Bombeck
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If I'm in a serious play, I often think to myself, 'I could make that line funny.'
Eve Arden
