Funny Quotes
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The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.
Ezra Miller
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The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
Emma Stone
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First of all, I choose the great roles, and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.
Michael Caine
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
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The funny thing about the boy who gave away his loaves and fish is that he, too, ended the day with a full stomach.
Mark Hart
Crowded House
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Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
Russell Baker
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If I'm in a serious play, I often think to myself, 'I could make that line funny.'
Eve Arden
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I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny.
Ridley Scott
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With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is.
Murray Walker
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
Chic Murray
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"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called." ... That's what they say - but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, "Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!"
Brian Regan
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It's funny how the present can change the past.
Andrew Sean Greer
