Funny Quotes
-
Private Perkins is a funny little codger.
-
I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
-
With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is.
-
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
-
I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.
-
As humourless a lump of dough as ever held a torchlight vigil outside the South African Embassy or stuck an AIDS awareness ribbon on an unwilling first-nighter.
-
It's funny how the present can change the past.
-
The funny thing about the boy who gave away his loaves and fish is that he, too, ended the day with a full stomach.
-
The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
-
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
-
First of all, I choose the great roles, and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.
-
Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
-
Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
-
You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
-
It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.
-
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
-
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
-
It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.
-
All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.
-
Since I became more confident, I've thought, 'Right, let me get myself on the market'. So I joined Tinder and Chappie, and it was funny because, at first, the sites thought I was an imposter.
-
Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
-
When we shot that Westworld, it was so funny. Not funny - I mean, like, funny-strange because I, personally as an actress and as a person, am so used to having to play the damsel, that when we were shooting that scene, and Jimmi looked at me and said, "Dolores, run," I ran. Then I stopped myself, and I turned around and I went, "Oh my God. I'm so used to running."
-
That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.
-
That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year.
