Funny Quotes
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Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.
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You can never not feel like that, as a working artist these days. It's funny - time off makes me nervous, but so does time on. At least the pressure wasn't coming from outside.
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It's funny how the present can change the past.
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It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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That old question about whether, as a woman, you can be funny and attractive at the same time. Argh! I hate that question. Of course you can.
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Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.
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Private Perkins is a funny little codger.
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She appears to have a face that would stop a clock and raise hell with small watches, bless her heart.
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You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."
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If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.
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You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.
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It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.
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Football's football, if that weren't the case it wouldn't be the game that it is
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As long as you're excited about what you're playing, and as long as it comes from your heart, it's going to be great.
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That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.
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If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
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And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
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Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach of traditional journalism, including network broadcasting in which NPR is no exception. One is the "hot" approach of talk radio, which has since expanded to TV sports networks and now Fox TV. The third is the engaged approach of weblogging.
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Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed.
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
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Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
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So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."
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If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.
