Funny Quotes
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The funny thing is that the fashions from the '90s seem to sit so well with the fashions of 2016. Everything from then somehow skipped and came back.
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I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny.
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Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
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So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
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People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
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Football's football, if that weren't the case it wouldn't be the game that it is
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It's hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day.
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During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.
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I know. I'm lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have 'til December, right?
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I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
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And the first five places are filled by five different cars.
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But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.
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Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
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The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
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That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.
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If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
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Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.
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Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.
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Don't repeat the lies of the liars.
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As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
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And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race.
