Funny Quotes
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The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.
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Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
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My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic.
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One of life's most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn't do our homework, that we are not prepared.
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I think religion is a funny thing because, when you see somebody who can really break it down, sometimes it feels foolish what you believe.
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I can be educational, but if I'm not funny and entertaining, too, who's going to come and listen to me or watch me on TV.
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A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
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As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
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That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.
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That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.
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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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Physically I'm not as strong as I was, but I try to make up for it mentally. It's a big challenge, and I relish it, competing with guys half my age.
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Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.
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I think it's harder to go from comedy to drama than from drama to comedy. Seeing you dramatic all the time, they crave to see you being silly or funny. But, seeing you in comedy all the time, it's hard to see that person go be serious, for some reason.
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The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0.
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I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny.
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You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
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These walls are funny. First you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.
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As long as the wrong feels right - it's like I'm in flight.
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Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.
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It's lap 26 of 58, which unless I'm very much mistaken is half way.
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Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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It's funny: most people who recognize me on the subway and stuff - it's much more they think of me as a funny guy. I get much more of people telling me how much I make them laugh, actually. Which is nice.
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Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
