Jim Gaffigan Quotes

What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

Jim Gaffigan

• Funny
• Humor
• Marketing
• Nasty
• Hot

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Quotes to Explore

• Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice.

  

  Barbra Streisand
  • Success
  • Me
  • Eating

• I'm only waiting for Lindsay Lohan's fashion collection to come out. Ten years from now, there may be no real designers left.

  

  Vera Wang
  • Real
  • May
  • Fashion

• If I could wave a magic wand, we would eliminate income tax; we would eliminate corporate tax. We would abolish the IRS, and we could replace all of it with one federal consumption tax.

  

  Gary Johnson
  • Magic
  • Tax
  • Wave

• Getting divorced didn't sour me on the institution of marriage. I'll tell you what I'll never do: I'll never get divorced again.

  

  Eddie Murphy
  • Me
  • Marriage
  • Never

• The bottom line is the Kiss Army is growing by leaps and bounds.

  

  Ace Frehley Kiss
  • Growing
  • Army
  • Kiss

• My daughter passed away in 2003.

  

  Daniel Cormier
  • Daughter
  • Away
  • Passed

• It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.

  

  Rami Malek
  • Up
  • School
  • Done

• I am so, so lucky. I am the luckiest girl in the world, really. And still with access to everything I could possibly want I still say 'Oh dear, what am I going to wear today?' There's no ending to that question!

  

  Salma Hayek
  • World
  • Today
  • Girl

• I want to do horror and action, and I'm only being slightly facetious.

  

  Parker Posey
  • Want
  • Action
  • Horror

• When I was a kid just starting out on the radio, I would always watch people. And I'd see the interest they'd have in trying to get a photo with an artist or get a ticket stub signed. I guess, to me, that's the ultimate thing – to know that what you've done is important enough to other people that they want to take a picture with you.

  

  Eddie Trunk
  • People
  • Important
  • Artist

• Race, redemption and healing - that's my thing.

  

  Bebe Moore Campbell
  • Race
  • Healing
  • Redemption

• What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.

  

  Laura Linney
  • People
  • Me
  • Die

• Out-marriage is an issue religious groups have been wrestling with for some time. Of course men and women fall in love. Of course it's not always convenient to their respective cultural and spiritual norms.

  

  G. Willow Wilson
  • Marriage
  • Religious
  • Spiritual

• The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans.

  

  Malin Akerman
  • Bad
  • Funny
  • Boy

• I spent my whole teenage life trying to get to London and go to dance school, but when I got there, I couldn't wait to get to the clubs on weekends. I knew I wanted to make music.

  

  FKA twigs
  • Life
  • Music
  • Trying

• I was described as a dreamer, a fantasist, even as the village idiot. I didn't care. What I cared about was convincing people to allow me to go on with my work.

  

  Ada Yonath
  • People
  • Work
  • Care

• My father didn't know his last name. My father got his last name from his grandfather, and his grandfather got it from his grandfather who got it from the slavemaster.

  

  Malcolm X
  • Father
  • Name
  • Grandfather

• Although my art work was heavily informed by my design work on a formal and visual level, as regards meaning and content the two practices parted ways.

  

  Barbara Kruger
  • Work
  • Art
  • Design

• I came up with a story and I wrote it.

  

  E. L. James
  • Up
  • Story
  • Wrote

• It will be the people with the greatest love, not the most information, who will influence us to change.

  

  Bob Goff
  • Love
  • Change
  • Information

• Vin Scully has been my broadcasting idol for a long time. He is so humble - he has the exact same work ethic that he had 65 years ago. His family is what he cares about the most, and at the heart of his whole being is his marriage and kids.

  

  Hannah Storm
  • Time
  • Work
  • Long

• I just like the continue doing what I've been doing. A melange of funny, straight drama, television, movies, a little theater here and there wouldn't hurt. So if I can keep doing that, I'll be a very happy person.

  

  Mary Tyler Moore
  • Happy
  • Funny
  • Hurt

• Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh.

  

  Kevin Hart
  • Why
  • Funny
  • Positive

• What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Funny
  • Humor
  • Marketing