Funny Quotes
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He many not be hurt as much as he really is.
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That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.
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There's something therapeutic about connecting with an audience - when there's something really sort of odd or silly that you think is funny, and conveying it to an audience.
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People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
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Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.
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These walls are funny. First you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.
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My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic.
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I'd basically have trouble with any job that doesn't require me to wear silly clothes and talk in funny voices.
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McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.
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It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed, is you.
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I don't so much mind that newspapers are dying - it's watching them commit suicide that pisses me off.
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Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach of traditional journalism, including network broadcasting in which NPR is no exception. One is the "hot" approach of talk radio, which has since expanded to TV sports networks and now Fox TV. The third is the engaged approach of weblogging.
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And the first five places are filled by five different cars.
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The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.
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A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
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I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
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One of life's most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn't do our homework, that we are not prepared.
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You couldn't hope to make a drama and have people rewriting on the day and having the actors making suggestions, "Wouldn't it be funny if my character did this?" "No. You're the actor. I'll tell you what to do."
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An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.
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Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.
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There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.
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For me, I've worked hard for people to think I'm funny.
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A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
