Funny Quotes
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It’s funny how one summer can change everything.
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Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
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I think it's cool to do stuff in a different language. Basically, I learned English through listening to rap. A lot of people think it's funny. But it's true; I used to try to get the accents.
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Maybe because I began as a writer, I have a good ear for dialogue, and maybe being an English major - and that I also read a lot as a kid - if I hear somebody say something that I think's funny, or I find a situation or story, I'll try to work that into the movie.
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Right now Andy Larkin is pitching just like young Andy Larkin.
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For me, I've worked hard for people to think I'm funny.
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I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
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She, uh, came out of the closet recently, my niece. Um... She announced to the family that she's a lesbian and... She's seven, did I mention that? And, uh, I don't even know if she knows what a lesbian is, but I support her completely. And, uh... I'll tell you what's heartbreaking. My sister punished her for it. Can you believe that? No pussy for a week. Which to us may not sound like... But when you're seven, you know, a week is a long time.
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The funny thing about the boy who gave away his loaves and fish is that he, too, ended the day with a full stomach.
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I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
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There's something therapeutic about connecting with an audience - when there's something really sort of odd or silly that you think is funny, and conveying it to an audience.
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Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it.
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My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.
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You couldn't hope to make a drama and have people rewriting on the day and having the actors making suggestions, "Wouldn't it be funny if my character did this?" "No. You're the actor. I'll tell you what to do."
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
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It's pretty funny when we go out to countries where the drinking age is 13 or 14, and we all go to bars and order and drink some stuff. Our parents will go, 'Hey!' And we go, 'We are legal to drink here!'
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
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This circuit is interesting because it has inclines and declines. Not just up, but down as well.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
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That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
