Funny Quotes
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As a model, we come in the room, and we are casted just on our looks. I think I'm funny; I think I'm clever. But in the end, they're picking me for my cheekbones or if I'm tall enough.
Coco Rocha
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Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.
Jerry Coleman
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She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.
Chic Murray
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Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think, ‘Oh, they’re nice,’ but if a stranger’s ugly, you’re like, ‘What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.
Jim Gaffigan
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We will welcome them with bullets and shoes.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
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You ever buy a book and not read it? You feel almost guilty having it up on a bookshelf. People are like, "Hey, how's that book?" "I haven't read it." "Oh, did you just buy it?" "I've had it since high school." "Well, can I borrow it?" "No."
Jim Gaffigan
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It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny.
Charles Willeford
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You can never not feel like that, as a working artist these days. It's funny - time off makes me nervous, but so does time on. At least the pressure wasn't coming from outside.
Zach Condon
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I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
Steve Martin
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
Erma Bombeck
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Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
William Goldman
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The funny thing about the boy who gave away his loaves and fish is that he, too, ended the day with a full stomach.
Mark Hart
Crowded House
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Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted.
Emma Stone
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First of all, I choose the great roles, and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.
Michael Caine
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I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.
Adrian Anthony Gill
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It's funny because when I first met with Carmen, she said, "Have you ever thought about doing TV?" And I was like, "No, not really, but I'd audition for TV." And she said, "That's where the roles are for women now. That's where you can go and get a really great part."
Eve Hewson
