Funny Quotes
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As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
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Maybe because I began as a writer, I have a good ear for dialogue, and maybe being an English major - and that I also read a lot as a kid - if I hear somebody say something that I think's funny, or I find a situation or story, I'll try to work that into the movie.
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It's a bit embarrassing watching myself, but I couldn't get someone else to play me, that would've been stupid.
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The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
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Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
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It's so funny whenever things come full circle.
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They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.
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George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.
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That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.
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I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
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Society is composed of two great classes, those that have more dinners than appetite, and those who have more appetite than dinners.
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I think it's cool to do stuff in a different language. Basically, I learned English through listening to rap. A lot of people think it's funny. But it's true; I used to try to get the accents.
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I think it's harder to go from comedy to drama than from drama to comedy. Seeing you dramatic all the time, they crave to see you being silly or funny. But, seeing you in comedy all the time, it's hard to see that person go be serious, for some reason.
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Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.
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I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
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There's something therapeutic about connecting with an audience - when there's something really sort of odd or silly that you think is funny, and conveying it to an audience.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
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I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
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I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.
