Funny Quotes
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Why would you clone people when you can go to bed with them and make a baby? C'mon, it's stupid.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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A good part's a good part. You can play serious and funny moments with a well-written role.
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
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The funny thing about the boy who gave away his loaves and fish is that he, too, ended the day with a full stomach.
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She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.
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To think of Tolstoy eating a sandwich is intrinsically kind of funny.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.
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First of all, I choose the great roles, and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.
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You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.
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I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
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I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.
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I don't hate women - they just sometimes make me mad.
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Most people deal with grief in an awkward way, and that can be funny.
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If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast.
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It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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I don’t really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric... I’m not operating on somebody’s brain, you know what I mean? So I just think it’s all funny.
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People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
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A child smacking an adult across the face is not funny. It is, in fact, one of the last things society should tolerate.
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, "There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man."
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
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Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
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I like Donald. I guess I shouldn't call him that. I like President Trump. He's affable. He's funny.
