Funny Quotes
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To think of Tolstoy eating a sandwich is intrinsically kind of funny.
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My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
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Our job is like a baker's work - his rolls are tasty as long as they're fresh; after two days they're stale; after a week, they're covered with mould and fit only to be thrown out.
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Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation.
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The funny thing is that the fashions from the '90s seem to sit so well with the fashions of 2016. Everything from then somehow skipped and came back.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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You can never not feel like that, as a working artist these days. It's funny - time off makes me nervous, but so does time on. At least the pressure wasn't coming from outside.
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It will be funny in about 10 years.
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Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.
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I think people are surprised to learn that I'm pretty goofy and pretty funny.
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I think sex is overrated. I don't have sex appeal and I know it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm rather funny looking. My teeth are funny, for one thing, and I have none of the attributes usually required for a movie queen, including the shapeliness.
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I love Nicole Holofcener and Lynn Shelton, both for the same reasons: their films are funny without being forced, intimate and real while also being hugely entertaining.
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Every morning I hear the alarm, it's like "BEEP BEEP BEEP" For second I'm like, "I could get used to that, just dream I'm in a techno club, or something."
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As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.
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At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.
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You ever buy a book and not read it? You feel almost guilty having it up on a bookshelf. People are like, "Hey, how's that book?" "I haven't read it." "Oh, did you just buy it?" "I've had it since high school." "Well, can I borrow it?" "No."
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People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
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I love insults, devastating takedowns, things that could be described by Twitter hacks as 'shots fired,' and funny ad hominem attacks.
