Funny Quotes
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You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.
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I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.
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Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
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Anything happens in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does.
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What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat?
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You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.
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It's a bit embarrassing watching myself, but I couldn't get someone else to play me, that would've been stupid.
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Even though I didn't get a business degree, I enjoyed learning about economics.
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I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure
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Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.
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Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
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I do quite like sightseeing. I like churches, museums, galleries and all that stuff. I love the smell of a church in Italy or the smell of an old greasy spoon somewhere. I like markets and little funny shops in the backstreets of Florence.
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It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed, is you.
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My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic.
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So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."
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I don't so much mind that newspapers are dying - it's watching them commit suicide that pisses me off.
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The tires are called wets, because they're used in the wet. And these tires are called slicks, because they're very slick.
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Right now Andy Larkin is pitching just like young Andy Larkin.
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I'd basically have trouble with any job that doesn't require me to wear silly clothes and talk in funny voices.
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Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach of traditional journalism, including network broadcasting in which NPR is no exception. One is the "hot" approach of talk radio, which has since expanded to TV sports networks and now Fox TV. The third is the engaged approach of weblogging.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.
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People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
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And the first five places are filled by five different cars.
