Funny Quotes
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When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
Richard Lewis -
Getting fan mail from Brazil is kind of funny.
Essie Davis
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The other day in the garage, I found a book report from the seventh grade that I did about silent movie stars. It's funny to look at now, because it really foretold what my future would be.
Mark Bridges -
What was the name of that dog on "Rin Tin Tin"?
Mickey Rivers -
They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
Jerry Coleman -
It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.
Stephen Fry -
Customers long to interact with - even relate to - employees who act like there is still a light on inside.
Chip R. Bell -
It's funny, when I'm not on the road or doing stuff with Bad Company - or whatever- I've always written songs galore... a lot of stuff people don't even hear.
Mick Ralphs
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
Steve Martin -
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called." ... That's what they say - but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, "Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!"
Brian Regan -
Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
Jerry Coleman -
Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
Michael Caine -
I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
Steve Martin -
I love insults, devastating takedowns, things that could be described by Twitter hacks as 'shots fired,' and funny ad hominem attacks.
Alex Pareene
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For me, I've worked hard for people to think I'm funny.
Nikki Cox -
Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach of traditional journalism, including network broadcasting in which NPR is no exception. One is the "hot" approach of talk radio, which has since expanded to TV sports networks and now Fox TV. The third is the engaged approach of weblogging.
David "Doc" Searls -
I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.
Nick Thune -
I'd basically have trouble with any job that doesn't require me to wear silly clothes and talk in funny voices.
Natalie Portman -
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Erma Bombeck -
Don't repeat the lies of the liars.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
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It's hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day.
Darby Conley -
What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat?
Thomas Nagel -
Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.
Jerry Coleman -
Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation.
Ricky Van Veen