Erma Bombeck Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I hate jeans for no reason.
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It may sound funny, but it's true: I tried to put myself through the 12-step program. I didn't want to attend a real meeting; my role didn't really require that, and I feel those meetings are sort of sacred, and they're anonymous for a reason. I tried to deal with some of my love of snacks - and I relapsed a lot.
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This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.
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Cultural tourism surveys consistently rate San Francisco's art industry as a core reason for visiting.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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A mother deserves a day off to care for a sick child or sick parent without running into hardship - and you know what, a father does, too. It's time to do away with workplace policies that belong in a 'Mad Men' episode.
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I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
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I created my own party. It's called the Sloth and Indolence Party, and I'm running as an anarchist candidate in the best sense of that word. I've studied the presidency carefully.
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Compared to running apps on a smartphone or, more aptly, an iPad, the app experience on the Samsung Chromebook Plus is distinctly subpar.
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I'm running because we need change.
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I think music, in my opinion, is not about motivation in the way it's - it's not a running base. It's art. And my whole philosophy of music is different. It's almost like cooking and serving to people, seeing them smile and enjoying the food, really.
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A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada.
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
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You know, I said I have this problem that I need to more carefully read Akron's text because it's too much, too much fantasy, and so I am busy with other stuff - it's funny, it's nice to hear that someone is studying that carefully and now I know a little bit more about that.
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He knew that women appreciated neither irony nor sarcasm, but simple jokes and funny stories. He was amply provided with both.
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It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose.
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Attributed in the 'quote of the day' source code of the 'Fortune' computer program (June 1987); more at 'The Most Exciting Phrase in Science Is Not ‘Eureka!’ But ‘That’s funny …’' at Quote Investigator
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From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.
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I have been called a Rogue Elephant, a Cannibal Shark, and a crocodile. I am none the worse. I remain a caged, and rather sardonic, lion, in a particularly contemptible and ill-run zoo.
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One day when I was able to get up, I decided to look at myself in the mirror on the opposite wall. I had not seen myself since the ghetto.From the depths of the mirror, a corpse was contemplating me.The look in his eyes as he gazed at me has never left me.
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When I was younger, not being accepted made me enraged, but now, I am not inclined to dismantle my history. If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes-and we become attached to the heroic strain in our personal history.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
