Funny Quotes
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That old question about whether, as a woman, you can be funny and attractive at the same time. Argh! I hate that question. Of course you can.
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It's funny, when I'm not on the road or doing stuff with Bad Company - or whatever- I've always written songs galore... a lot of stuff people don't even hear.
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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I know. I'm lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have 'til December, right?
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Since I became more confident, I've thought, 'Right, let me get myself on the market'. So I joined Tinder and Chappie, and it was funny because, at first, the sites thought I was an imposter.
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Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
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It's funny how making odd noises can get you into strange situations sometimes.
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I think sex is overrated. I don't have sex appeal and I know it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm rather funny looking. My teeth are funny, for one thing, and I have none of the attributes usually required for a movie queen, including the shapeliness.
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The other day in the garage, I found a book report from the seventh grade that I did about silent movie stars. It's funny to look at now, because it really foretold what my future would be.
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I'm thankful for the talent in which God gave me and I'm thankful for the environment that he placed me.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Of all the things that make up what was home It’s funny how they make me feel alone
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A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.
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And when funny things happen, you just have to go along, don't you? Because they might never happen again and you'll have missed the joke of it, missed the fun, and then when you're old and your kittens ask you what you did when the world had its glad rags on, you won't have nothing to say, will you?
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That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.
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Football's football, if that weren't the case it wouldn't be the game that it is
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Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.
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They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.
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It's a bit embarrassing watching myself, but I couldn't get someone else to play me, that would've been stupid.
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Why would you clone people when you can go to bed with them and make a baby? C'mon, it's stupid.
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I love insults, devastating takedowns, things that could be described by Twitter hacks as 'shots fired,' and funny ad hominem attacks.
