Funny Quotes
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Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
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A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.
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Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.
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A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it.
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I've been a part of this before, where you think the racing gods are against you, then next thing you know, you can't do anything wrong. You're winning races and doing things you feel like you shouldn't have done that particular day. It all comes full circle in this sport. It has a funny way of doing it.
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The funny thing is, when you look at photos of Tuvia Bielski, he was fair, blue-eyed, and could pass for a Gentile.
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Learn from the masters, learn from your contemporaries. Always try to update yourself.
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Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
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The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
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Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation.
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People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
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The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.
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It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
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I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess.
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Comedy is a very personal thing, and some people will find it funny, some people wont.
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A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.
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The funny thing about advertising is that it's not a zero-sum game... Historically, in the digital ad world, pie has gotten larger and it's possible for everyone to win, and it's perfectly possible that will continue to be true for quite some time.
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My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
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Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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And it's very, very funny When you've lots and lots of money To be horrible to those with none! Be horrible to those with none!
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It's easy to be negatively funny about personalities in the media. It's just kind of a cheap laugh.
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Physically I'm not as strong as I was, but I try to make up for it mentally. It's a big challenge, and I relish it, competing with guys half my age.
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I love insults, devastating takedowns, things that could be described by Twitter hacks as 'shots fired,' and funny ad hominem attacks.
