Funny Quotes
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It's funny - there's nothing that stops you laughing like the sight of other people laughing about something else.
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, "There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man."
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Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"
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I like idolator.com a lot. Every once in a while they shred me on there, but it's usually pretty funny.
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Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted.
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A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it.
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It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
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A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.
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I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.
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The Army has carried the American... ideal to its logical conclusion... Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on the grounds of ability.
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Once anyone who has a sense of humor can do what they want, they want to do funny bits as much as possible.
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
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I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
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Fast pitch softball is just as dangerous as baseball. The ball is bigger so you can see it better, but the size also makes for a bigger space to move out of its way.
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I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
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The show is definitely not just about weight-loss physically. It's more about finding yourself. It's really funny because I realized at one of our table reads that 'Huge' was really about the weight that we carry around mentally.
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Truth gets well if she is run over by a locomotive, while error dies of lockjaw if she scratches her finger.
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Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think, ‘Oh, they’re nice,’ but if a stranger’s ugly, you’re like, ‘What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.
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I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
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There are many different ways of being funny. I'm not sure that there's so many different ways of being dramatic.
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It's a funny thing, by the way, how people who love free markets are also quite sure that they know that investors are being irrational.
