Funny Quotes
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
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I think the first rule of comedy is that it has to be funny and I find a lot of the broad comedy which is sent to me, painfully unfunny.
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When I was a kid my father would read Neil Simon plays with me when I was going to bed, as bedtime stories. All of these old plays like The Odd Couple and Lost in Yonkers - funny but corny plays about Jewish New Yorkers in the mid-20th century.
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Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
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When I die, so does hip hop.
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Tell me, was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?
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Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!
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So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
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I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!"
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A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.
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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
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Anything happens in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does.
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A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
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Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.
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Always enter like a kitten and leave like a lion. But NEVER enter like a lion and leave like a kitten. Always be humble.
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There have been funny sequels, but I don't know if there have been that many that feel like they're - you know - they're just as great a movie to watch, just as fun an experience but different.
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Maybe it has something to do with the pull of the moon because, despite the statistical improbability of any two people meeting up, it is inevitable that the tremulous are drawn to the languished, the sick to the broken, the forsaken to the sad, every pot has its cover, and the funny to the funny ones, too.
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being funny is a way of being liked and a way of dealing with sadness.
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When people are funny, I like to let them know that they're funny. There's so much negativity, it's cool to get some positivity out there.
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One of life's most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn't do our homework, that we are not prepared.
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I'd like to do a film which is funny.
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He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
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Maybe because I began as a writer, I have a good ear for dialogue, and maybe being an English major - and that I also read a lot as a kid - if I hear somebody say something that I think's funny, or I find a situation or story, I'll try to work that into the movie.
