Funny Quotes
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My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.
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A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.
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It's funny to think that at 22 years old, I was really burned out from being on the road for 10 years.
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It's so funny whenever things come full circle.
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A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.
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I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
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You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.
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What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.
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Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
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As funny as some photos can be, think twice about allowing yourself to be tagged in questionable photos.
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There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.
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How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are.
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One of life's most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn't do our homework, that we are not prepared.
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I think the first rule of comedy is that it has to be funny and I find a lot of the broad comedy which is sent to me, painfully unfunny.
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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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The big ballpark can do it all!
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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Honestly, it's hard to learn about comedy from comedians. Comedy is not something that you necessarily learn or can imitate. You're funny or you're not, and you hope what you're doing is funny.
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I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.
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There have been funny sequels, but I don't know if there have been that many that feel like they're - you know - they're just as great a movie to watch, just as fun an experience but different.
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Comedy came early. I knew when I was a kid that I was silly, and I knew that I liked people who were funny, but I don't think I knew I was funny. I didn't really think about it.
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Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.
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You can teach taste, editorial sense, but the ability to say something funny is something I've never been able to teach anyone.
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Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up.
