Funny Quotes
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Let's leave it all alone. I'm stupidest when I try to be funny.
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Wikipedia is just an incredible thing. It is fact-encirclingly huge, and it is idiosyncratic, careful, messy, funny, shocking and full of simmering controversies - and it is free, and it is fast.
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As funny as some photos can be, think twice about allowing yourself to be tagged in questionable photos.
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I'd like to do a film which is funny.
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You know, I'm just a very boring, not very funny person in person. I don't feel pressured to be otherwise.
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There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.
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How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are.
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When people are funny, I like to let them know that they're funny. There's so much negativity, it's cool to get some positivity out there.
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Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.
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I like Donald. I guess I shouldn't call him that. I like President Trump. He's affable. He's funny.
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He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
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The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
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A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.
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There have been funny sequels, but I don't know if there have been that many that feel like they're - you know - they're just as great a movie to watch, just as fun an experience but different.
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Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
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It's so funny whenever things come full circle.
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Tell me, was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?
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A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.
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I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues.
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Always enter like a kitten and leave like a lion. But NEVER enter like a lion and leave like a kitten. Always be humble.
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Honestly, it's hard to learn about comedy from comedians. Comedy is not something that you necessarily learn or can imitate. You're funny or you're not, and you hope what you're doing is funny.
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It's funny because Hollywood is such a small place that everyone really is less than 6 degrees of separation.
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My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic.
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I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
