Funny Quotes
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It's funny because Hollywood is such a small place that everyone really is less than 6 degrees of separation.
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Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.
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What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.
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Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up.
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
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Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.
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It's great when improv is encouraged. It's a really fun thing. It depends on who's in the movie and how their process works as well. It takes a director who is open to that because you have a script, but then something funny could happen on set.
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I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
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He can be lethal death.
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So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
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A good part's a good part. You can play serious and funny moments with a well-written role.
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If America cannot win a war in a week, it begins negotiating with itself.
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I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience.
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It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
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Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.
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If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did.
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All imperfection is easier to tolerate if served up in small doses.
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
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Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".
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You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?"
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Most people deal with grief in an awkward way, and that can be funny.
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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
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I'm thankful for the talent in which God gave me and I'm thankful for the environment that he placed me.
