Funny Quotes
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Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it.
Philip Seymour Hoffman -
It is beyond my apprehension.
Danny Ozark
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Our job is like a baker's work - his rolls are tasty as long as they're fresh; after two days they're stale; after a week, they're covered with mould and fit only to be thrown out.
Ryszard Kapuscinski -
I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess.
Paul Feig -
But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.
Sarah Silverman -
I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.
Dat Phan -
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Tommy Cooper -
People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
Jim Gaffigan
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His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread.
Tom Hayden -
I try to find a way to make it comfortable or interesting or funny to me.
Owen Wilson -
As a model, we come in the room, and we are casted just on our looks. I think I'm funny; I think I'm clever. But in the end, they're picking me for my cheekbones or if I'm tall enough.
Coco Rocha -
I think egg boiling is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I can make a tiramisu anytime you want.
Catherine Zeta-Jones -
I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
Chic Murray -
I think that because I struggled and did get very bullied, that definitely made me learn how to be funny and let things roll off and be able to laugh, and I think that has definitely helped me when it comes to being in the public eye with 'Gay of Thrones' and 'Queer Eye.'
Jonathan Van Ness
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If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast.
Amber Valletta -
Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.
Jerry Coleman -
I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.
Virginia Woolf -
Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.
Jerry Coleman -
I think sex is overrated. I don't have sex appeal and I know it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm rather funny looking. My teeth are funny, for one thing, and I have none of the attributes usually required for a movie queen, including the shapeliness.
Audrey Hepburn -
Society is composed of two great classes, those that have more dinners than appetite, and those who have more appetite than dinners.
Sébastien-Roch Nicolas
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National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.
Jerry Coleman -
Elisa Albert in a nutshell: funny, self-aware, and genuinely fearless that she might be a lunatic, or a genius, or both.
Emily Gould -
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
Simon Callow -
The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
Emma Stone