Funny Quotes
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It's great when improv is encouraged. It's a really fun thing. It depends on who's in the movie and how their process works as well. It takes a director who is open to that because you have a script, but then something funny could happen on set.
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Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.
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Being gay has never been a big deal to me, which is why it's a little funny to be getting all this attention about it.
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If America cannot win a war in a week, it begins negotiating with itself.
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It's funny because Hollywood is such a small place that everyone really is less than 6 degrees of separation.
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Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.
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A good part's a good part. You can play serious and funny moments with a well-written role.
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I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
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You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?"
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It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
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I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience.
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
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It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
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Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.
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I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
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I'm thankful for the talent in which God gave me and I'm thankful for the environment that he placed me.
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Hate is funny. Love isn't. Love can kill you. Hate can keep you alive.
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Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".
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So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
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Most people deal with grief in an awkward way, and that can be funny.
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Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.
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My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too.
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The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
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All imperfection is easier to tolerate if served up in small doses.
