Funny Quotes
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The tires are called wets, because they're used in the wet. And these tires are called slicks, because they're very slick.
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'Playing House' works because we're being supremely honest to what we think is funny and not what we think other people think is funny.
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You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.
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Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!
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Anything happens in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does.
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I adore the company of other writers because they are so often lively minds and, frequently, blazingly funny. And of course, we get each other in a unique way.
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Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.
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It's not like every male comic you meet is funny. Like, a lot of them are not funny.
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Always enter like a kitten and leave like a lion. But NEVER enter like a lion and leave like a kitten. Always be humble.
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When I die, so does hip hop.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Edmonton is not the end of the world but you can certainly see it from there.
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You know, I'm just a very boring, not very funny person in person. I don't feel pressured to be otherwise.
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These walls are funny. First you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.
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I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
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There's something therapeutic about connecting with an audience - when there's something really sort of odd or silly that you think is funny, and conveying it to an audience.
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'Indiana Jones' wasn't physically tough, but they are the only two films I've ever been ill on. On 'The Last Crusade,' I got sciatica. That's when the sciatic nerve, which goes through the funny hole in your pelvis down your leg, swells and rubs against the nerves.
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It started off with flu-like symptoms and pain; then, I started feeling really funny. In two weeks, I was paralyzed from the waist down, and it spiraled down from there. Every ability I had was slowly slipping away.
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The show is definitely not just about weight-loss physically. It's more about finding yourself. It's really funny because I realized at one of our table reads that 'Huge' was really about the weight that we carry around mentally.
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This is the most elaborate and luxurious method of convincing others that you can cook. Take everybody out on your yacht until they're green in the face. Then you can rave for weeks about your sauce marinara and no one will gainsay you.
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The most noteworthy thing about gardeners is that they are always optimistic, always enterprising, and never satisfied. They always look forward to doing something better than they have ever done before.
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Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.
