Funny Quotes
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What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.
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I write the songs first and in most cases teach myself the technique second.
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A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it.
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There's a fear that I don't think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny.
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My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too.
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I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in.
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Twitter's a lot of work! That's the first thing I would say. There's so much pressure to be funny.
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Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.
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I did a lot of sitcoms, and being funny isn't about being beautiful. Usually, beautiful people aren't the funny people.
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My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.
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The funny thing is, when you look at photos of Tuvia Bielski, he was fair, blue-eyed, and could pass for a Gentile.
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The other day in the garage, I found a book report from the seventh grade that I did about silent movie stars. It's funny to look at now, because it really foretold what my future would be.
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I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!
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Most people deal with grief in an awkward way, and that can be funny.
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Being gay has never been a big deal to me, which is why it's a little funny to be getting all this attention about it.
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I felt how important the simplest things were, like feeling proud, finding something funny, stretching yourself, retreating into yourself.
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Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
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You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
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Once anyone who has a sense of humor can do what they want, they want to do funny bits as much as possible.
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If you don't like the news go out and make some of your own.
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
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There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.
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I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room
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I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess.
