Funny Quotes
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Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
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When I die, so does hip hop.
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I'm always fascinated by the dedicated monitors in a hospital. Non-standard cables, funny button shapes, odd LED colors, and lots of extra controls.
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Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.
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I am very uncomfortable being romantic. I can be funny; I can be all over the place. I can be anything but romantic.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.
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I am the funny, crazy person.
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There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.
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I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!"
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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I adore the company of other writers because they are so often lively minds and, frequently, blazingly funny. And of course, we get each other in a unique way.
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A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.
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If America cannot win a war in a week, it begins negotiating with itself.
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The other day in the garage, I found a book report from the seventh grade that I did about silent movie stars. It's funny to look at now, because it really foretold what my future would be.
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I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love.
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Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.
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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
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I like idolator.com a lot. Every once in a while they shred me on there, but it's usually pretty funny.
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I felt how important the simplest things were, like feeling proud, finding something funny, stretching yourself, retreating into yourself.
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Never accept a drink from a urologist.
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Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers.
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Most people deal with grief in an awkward way, and that can be funny.
