Funny Quotes
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Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!
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My mum passing away wasn't funny, but that funeral and what I went through, the things that happened, looking back at it, there were funny moments. You have to be strong enough to look back at it, to sit and assess the situation.
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It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh, no he isn't! It's a lap record.
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You're damn right I do. I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the s*** knocked out of me
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
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Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.
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Somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found.
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I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.
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Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God.
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
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I've always maintained that people that are funny and smart can do anything in film.
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There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.
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I love Nicole Holofcener and Lynn Shelton, both for the same reasons: their films are funny without being forced, intimate and real while also being hugely entertaining.
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To think of Tolstoy eating a sandwich is intrinsically kind of funny.
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Twitter's a lot of work! That's the first thing I would say. There's so much pressure to be funny.
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I am the funny, crazy person.
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I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.
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But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.
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Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"
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The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.
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I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience.
