Funny Quotes
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From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 10 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
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Maybe it has something to do with the pull of the moon because, despite the statistical improbability of any two people meeting up, it is inevitable that the tremulous are drawn to the languished, the sick to the broken, the forsaken to the sad, every pot has its cover, and the funny to the funny ones, too.
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Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is connected to the rhythm of music. They’re both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I’m always surprised when somebody funny is not musical.
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He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
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Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others rob you with a fountain pen.
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I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.
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It's funny that you [Zachary Quinto] did a monologue from Pounding Nails in the Floor With My Forehead. I did the same thing for my university when I went to USC.
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I'm no different than any other expendable player.
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I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
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Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.
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Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?
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Oxford is a funny place, as it is a mixture of town and gown. You have the students at the main university and at Oxford Brookes, but there is also a big working-class community.
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Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."
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Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
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I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!
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I like things that are funny and have a lot else in them besides that - ideas, for example.
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I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room
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But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.
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Let's leave it all alone. I'm stupidest when I try to be funny.
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Funny, how once you touched off a memory, it was like pulling out a stitch—all the others kept unraveling.
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I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid.
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I decided I would rather have a day job and love music than to play music that made me hate it.
