Funny Quotes
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The 1930s was a funny time. People knew they might not live for another six months, so if they were attracted to one another, there was no time to dawdle.
Alan Furst -
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
Tommy Cooper
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I'm a prankster, so some of the - you know, I like a good joke. I think when it's funny, it's funny.
Sean Spicer -
See, I don't really go after girls. Most of the girlfriends I've had have come after me. So it's really funny when girls get offended because I don't hit on them.
Kellan Lutz -
I like things that are funny and have a lot else in them besides that - ideas, for example.
Geoff Dyer -
I do like dating cynics - they tend to be incredibly funny.
Chris Pine -
It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life.
Jimi Hendrix The Jimi Hendrix Experience -
It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.
Craig Bruce
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Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!
Jerry Coleman -
I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.
Joe Rogan -
Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.
Jerry Coleman -
My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.
Chic Murray -
Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.
Jerry Coleman -
You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.
Jerry Coleman
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The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
Russell Baker -
Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.
Bill Vaughan -
I love Nicole Holofcener and Lynn Shelton, both for the same reasons: their films are funny without being forced, intimate and real while also being hugely entertaining.
Liz Tuccillo -
There is no such thing as an ugly woman.
Vincent Van Gogh -
At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.
Jerry Coleman -
The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
Jerry Coleman
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Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.
Jerry Coleman -
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
Louis C. K. -
Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed.
William James -
When people are funny, I like to let them know that they're funny. There's so much negativity, it's cool to get some positivity out there.
Dolph Ziggler