Funny Quotes
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I’ve long advised that bloggers seeking to make money from blogging spread their interests across multiple revenue streams so as not to put all their eggs in one basket.
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My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.
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Never accept a drink from a urologist.
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I like things that are funny and have a lot else in them besides that - ideas, for example.
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I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid.
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The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore.
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Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?
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It's funny: I always, as a high school teacher and particularly as a high school yearbook teacher, because yearbook staffs are 90 percent female, I got to sit in and overhear teenage girl talk for many years. I like teenage girls; I like their drama, their foibles. And I think, 'I'll be good with a teenage daughter!'
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My boss at Christmas was a lot of fun: "I want you to look in your pay envelopes and you'll know that I keep the Christmas spirit around here. Because in each and every envelope you'll find ... snow."
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Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.
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I think egg boiling is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I can make a tiramisu anytime you want.
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The great thing about being a comedian is that it kind of doesn't matter how you look. It's actually a disadvantage to be too good-looking. There's a Darwinian advantage to being funny. If you're a good-looking fella, you can't be bothered to make up jokes.
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The worst of being a Communist is the parties you may go to are - well - awfully funny and touching but not very gay...I don't see the point of sad parties, do you? And Left-wing people are always sad because they mind dreadfully about their causes, and the causes are always going so badly.
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That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
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Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.
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Sometimes you just gotta let sh-t go and say 'to hell with it' and move on.
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If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another.
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A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.
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Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.
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I adore the company of other writers because they are so often lively minds and, frequently, blazingly funny. And of course, we get each other in a unique way.
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Let's make some funny pictures.
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It's a funny thing, 'The Office,' because millions and millions and millions and millions of people didn't watch it. But culturally, it is more of a phenomenon than almost anything else I can remember as far as British television is concerned.
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Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.
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You need to be silly to be funny.
