Funny Quotes
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It started off with flu-like symptoms and pain; then, I started feeling really funny. In two weeks, I was paralyzed from the waist down, and it spiraled down from there. Every ability I had was slowly slipping away.
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My mom and dad always tried to make Christmas special for us. We were poor, but it's funny because we had no idea.
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When you do stuff as a comedian, Hollywood sees you as a comedian and so most of the calls I get are for a funny movie or something like that.
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A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
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Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.
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I don't think I'm funny.
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My boss at Christmas was a lot of fun: "I want you to look in your pay envelopes and you'll know that I keep the Christmas spirit around here. Because in each and every envelope you'll find ... snow."
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I know jazz is completely un-American. But the reason why America doesn't like it is because it's not funny. We americans have made jazz funny.
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No volleyball play can begin without a serve, and the serve is the only technique that is totally under your control. In other endeavors, you cannot succeed without believing in yourself, and that belief is completely under your control.
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Oxford is a funny place, as it is a mixture of town and gown. You have the students at the main university and at Oxford Brookes, but there is also a big working-class community.
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"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody
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I'm no different than any other expendable player.
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My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, "I don't care how dirty you are up there, just be funny." Because they knew me offstage. They knew I was a good guy. They knew my whole plan of becoming the most exciting comedian, visually, ever. A real rock-and-roll stand-up comic.
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It's a funny thing, by the way, how people who love free markets are also quite sure that they know that investors are being irrational.
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Stop it. Seriously. This isn't funny.' 'You're right.' A pause. 'It's pathetic.
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It's funny: your happiness is contingent on a bigger picture besides just yourself.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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I do keep getting these bad girl roles. The funny thing is that, honestly, I don't think I'm believable as these aristocratic mean girls. But I do love playing them.
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I think egg boiling is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I can make a tiramisu anytime you want.
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Just as we don't spend a lot of time worrying about how all those poets out there are going to monetize their poetry, the same is true for most bloggers.
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It's funny, having the same name as someone. Me, Emma Watson and Emma Stone, the amount of times I've been called Emma Watson or Emma Stone is so funny. It's just 'cause we're all named Emma. None of us look alike.
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If you don't like the news go out and make some of your own.
