Funny Quotes
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There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.
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People would ask me, 'Is he as funny at home as he is in the movies?' ... I would have to answer, 'Well, he can be funny. But he is also very serious. He has insomnia and if we him up early, he would bawl the hell out of me'.
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You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?"
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I don't think Aaron Sorkin can write a character who isn't really funny.
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Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.
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My writing process is editing. It's taking all the funny thoughts you've had over the last 12 months, and editing out everything that's shit. You're left with an hour and a quarter of funny stuff.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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I tried to go to community college for a while, and it's a funny story. I walked into the English class on the first day, and they told us to write about what we did over the summer. I can't remember exactly, but I think I walked out exactly at that point and went to the office to ask for my money back.
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It's funny, because 'Arrested Development' is tied to Andy Richter in a few different ways. For me personally, after I did Andy Richter, one of the next things I did was a show called 'Quintuplets' for a season for Fox, and this was while 'Arrested Development' was on. I used to go over and hang out on their set.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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I reach for funny books all the time to help me get through life.
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For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.
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Just as we don't spend a lot of time worrying about how all those poets out there are going to monetize their poetry, the same is true for most bloggers.
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I find it funny to look at people who are people-watching, and, don't get me wrong, I like to people-watch, too. But it's an interesting thing when people on the street just stop and ask you, 'Are you Coco? Can I take a photo of you?'
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My mom and dad always tried to make Christmas special for us. We were poor, but it's funny because we had no idea.
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It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.
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My friend and I founded the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival to counter the negative images of Arabs in media. And we always made sure that the comedy came first. So we weren't a bunch of Arabs trying to be funny. We were a bunch of comedians who just happened to be of Arab heritage.
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Bless your heart, they don't mind--they're exceedingly
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My mom always told me, 'You're very smart; you're very funny.' She never told me, 'You're very beautiful.'
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People are always surprised that I have a funny side because I'm usually so intense, strong and dramatic. But, I'd love to do something really, really silly and funny.
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Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others rob you with a fountain pen.
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If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did.
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Never accept a drink from a urologist.
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It's funny: I always, as a high school teacher and particularly as a high school yearbook teacher, because yearbook staffs are 90 percent female, I got to sit in and overhear teenage girl talk for many years. I like teenage girls; I like their drama, their foibles. And I think, 'I'll be good with a teenage daughter!'
