Funny Quotes
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Discovering Samuel Beckett in college was a big deal for me. I realized you could be very funny and very dark at the same time.
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I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.
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'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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People are funny in the way that they choose to express themselves.
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Thats not a place where I'm considered good-looking.
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Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
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I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It's such a tricky thing; you don't want to make rules about it. There's nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he'd break every rule you set up. But he's funny.
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It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with.
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I've always wanted to work with children, to help people, and to be funny.
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I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.
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I don't think Aaron Sorkin can write a character who isn't really funny.
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Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.
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For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.
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I come from a very big family. Nine parents.
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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
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I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.
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Sukhvinder wished that she could be more like Krystal: funny and tough; impossible to intimidate; always coming out fighting.
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I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though.
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I'm still compulsively interested in women. It's funny, I've always compulsively photographed women. I still do.
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The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.
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If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
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Unfortunately, my system for tracking down funny female writers isn't methodical. It's mainly based on word-of-mouth, which can cast a limited net.
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I decided I would rather have a day job and love music than to play music that made me hate it.
