Funny Quotes
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Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.
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John Oliver: You've stated that you believe there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you?Stephen Hawking: Yes. And also a universe where you're funny.
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You know, I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I'm kind of a big deal.
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Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
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Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.
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It's so funny, you go to acting school thinking you're going to learn how to be other people, but really it taught me how to be myself. Because it's in understanding yourself deeply that you can lend yourself to another person's circumstances and another person's experience.
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If you play Mark Twain and he's not funny, you are definitely not playing Mark Twain. That was the biggest challenge, in some ways. Writing and performing jokes that can come out of that brilliant delivery system he constructed: the friendly, avuncular truth-teller.
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To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong!
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Right now I'm pretty single... My career is my boyfriend.
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Twitter's a lot of work! That's the first thing I would say. There's so much pressure to be funny.
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There's a difference between delivering real funny and just silly funny.
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Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.
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If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
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Sukhvinder wished that she could be more like Krystal: funny and tough; impossible to intimidate; always coming out fighting.
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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
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It's funny that you [Zachary Quinto] did a monologue from Pounding Nails in the Floor With My Forehead. I did the same thing for my university when I went to USC.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
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Funny thing is, until I met you all I wanted to do was to get as far away from here as I could. Kind of ironic, isn't it? Can't get much farther away than where I"m going, and now I'd give anything to stay.
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I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.
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If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck.
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I did a character called Captain Q for Nestle's Quik. Those commercials were kind of funny.
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The great thing about being a comedian is that it kind of doesn't matter how you look. It's actually a disadvantage to be too good-looking. There's a Darwinian advantage to being funny. If you're a good-looking fella, you can't be bothered to make up jokes.
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I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
