Funny Quotes
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You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.
Colin Quinn -
I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.
Nick Cannon
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Funny, how once you touched off a memory, it was like pulling out a stitch—all the others kept unraveling.
Bel Kaufman -
Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.
David Thorne -
There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed.
Neneh Cherry -
Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."
P. J. O'Rourke -
But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.
Jim Gaffigan -
People notice peacemakers because they dress funny. We know how the people who make war dress - in uniforms and medals, or in computers and clipboards, or in absoluteness, severity, greed, and cynicism. But the peacemaker is dressed in righteousness, justice, and faithfulness - dressed for the work that is to be done.
Walter Brueggemann
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Don't write us off. Nobody thought we'd win the World Series in 2005, but we did. There are years when we think we're great, and we're bad. I mean, the funny thing about this game is that you can't figure it out.
Jerry Reinsdorf -
There's something innately funny and warm about being Jewish. I think it's something to be embraced and respected.
Ari Graynor -
Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?
Jim Gaffigan -
I'm a funny person, but I take my music seriously.
Cardi B -
Being gay has never been a big deal to me, which is why it's a little funny to be getting all this attention about it.
Adam Rippon -
I try to look at this music career thing as the means to an end. And really, at the end of it, I see myself on a sailboat, sailing off the edge of the world.
Michelle Shocked
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It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
Jim Gaffigan -
I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
Winston Spear -
Hollywood's just not funny.
Chris Rock -
I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I smell. Did I mention I'm stupid?
Marshall Bruce Mathers III Bad Meets Evil' -
I think absurdist humor is funny...
Aziz Ansari -
Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"
Jim Gaffigan
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When I was a kid my father would read Neil Simon plays with me when I was going to bed, as bedtime stories. All of these old plays like The Odd Couple and Lost in Yonkers - funny but corny plays about Jewish New Yorkers in the mid-20th century.
Zach Woods -
I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.
Chic Murray -
It's funny because I'm a sucker for glitz and glitter when it comes to clothes and nail polish, but with my makeup, I'm more comfortable with a natural look. It feels more like me.
Alison Sweeney -
If the wind is blowing like stink and everything is working right, a twelve-meter sailboat can go eleven and a half or twelve miles an hour, the same speed at which a bond lawyer runs around the Cental Park Reservoir.
P. J. O'Rourke