Funny Quotes
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I haven't watched 'Mad TV' a lot, but I have seen some stuff on there that is truly funny. You have to have some sort of attitude toward the subject, and they seem to have it. It depends on how much blood you want to draw.
Joe Flaherty
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Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.
Bill Vaughan
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Old white guys can be a funny bunch, can't they? The same anti-same-sex marriage, anti-affirmative action cadre can flower into the biggest supporters of 'equality' the minute they get a whiff of minority empowerment.
John Ridley
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
Mickey Rooney
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'Lucky' is for laughs, and there's really nothing funny that I'm doing on 'Dexter.' I think more than anything, both comment on the fact that anybody is capable of anything. Just because they are the shy guy in the corner doesn't mean that they are a harmless little bunny.
Colin Hanks
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Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.
David Thorne
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
Jim Gaffigan
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There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.
Jerry Coleman
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Sometimes fake laughing is hard once you've done a scene 18 times. I don't want to brag, but I have a reputation for being very, very good at that. It's funny finding what's challenging about acting as you go.
Allison Williams
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I love sprinting, but I hate long-distance running. Isn't that funny?
Dylan O'Brien
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I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.
Nick Thune
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A lot of modern comedies are difficult to watch too, because they're so ironic and so detached and so quote-unquote clever. They kind of keep you at arm's length. They can be really funny, but they're not really nourishing.
Ty Burrell
