Funny Quotes
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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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I love sprinting, but I hate long-distance running. Isn't that funny?
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If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck.
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There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me.
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Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.
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Sometimes he hated that voice in his brain, the one that slapped him upside the head anytime he got too stupid. Funny, it happened a lot with Sienna.
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There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed.
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My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
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I tried to go to community college for a while, and it's a funny story. I walked into the English class on the first day, and they told us to write about what we did over the summer. I can't remember exactly, but I think I walked out exactly at that point and went to the office to ask for my money back.
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You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
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It's fun to do something funny and have the director laughing. It makes you feel good.
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Sukhvinder wished that she could be more like Krystal: funny and tough; impossible to intimidate; always coming out fighting.
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Don't write us off. Nobody thought we'd win the World Series in 2005, but we did. There are years when we think we're great, and we're bad. I mean, the funny thing about this game is that you can't figure it out.
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The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
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You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.
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My mom always told me, 'You're very smart; you're very funny.' She never told me, 'You're very beautiful.'
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I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
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I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere.
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I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues.
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The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore.
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Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest.
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What a great hitch to pit!
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Sometimes you just gotta let sh-t go and say 'to hell with it' and move on.
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I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk!
