Funny Quotes
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To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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I worked with Tyler before on 'Daddy's Little Girls'. He couldn't be smarter or more laid back and cool. He's always throwing out lines and is funny as hell. And he was shining his light on 'Peeples', too, lending his name to showcase Tina as a first-time director, and me as a first-time lead.
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My friend and I founded the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival to counter the negative images of Arabs in media. And we always made sure that the comedy came first. So we weren't a bunch of Arabs trying to be funny. We were a bunch of comedians who just happened to be of Arab heritage.
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The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to care about things, but also not to alienate yourself from the rest of the world. But it's so much more alienating than vegetarianism.
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Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
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You don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo game.
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When you do stuff as a comedian, Hollywood sees you as a comedian and so most of the calls I get are for a funny movie or something like that.
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You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.
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I actually feel like, for a lot of my career, I wasn't able to show my comedic range. I did a lot of dramas and dramedies. I was on 'E.R.' That's not generally thought of as a funny show.
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It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.
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It's a sad day when a woman being funny and interested in science is considered newsworthy.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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It started off with flu-like symptoms and pain; then, I started feeling really funny. In two weeks, I was paralyzed from the waist down, and it spiraled down from there. Every ability I had was slowly slipping away.
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It's funny, having the same name as someone. Me, Emma Watson and Emma Stone, the amount of times I've been called Emma Watson or Emma Stone is so funny. It's just 'cause we're all named Emma. None of us look alike.
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I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room
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I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny.
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My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
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It (LSD) opened my eyes. We only use one-tenth of our brain. Just think of what we could accomplish if we could only tap that hidden part! It would mean a whole new world if the politicians would take LSD. There wouldn't be any more war or poverty or famine.
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The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny.
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Less judgment than wit is more sail than ballast.
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He thought the whole thing was so funny.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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The face of "evil" is always the face of total need. A dope fiend is a man in total need of dope. Beyond a certain frequency need knows absolutely no limit or control. In the words of total need: "Wouldn't you?" Yes you would. You would lie, cheat, inform on your friends, steal, do anything to satisfy total need. Because you would be in a state of total sickness, total possession, and not in a position to act in any other way. Dope fiends are sick people who cannot act other than they do. A rabid dog cannot choose but bite.
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National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.
