Funny Quotes
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'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
Tommy Cooper
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'Playing House' works because we're being supremely honest to what we think is funny and not what we think other people think is funny.
Lennon Parham
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The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
Russell Baker
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The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny.
Jason Alexander
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
Joseph Heller
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The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to care about things, but also not to alienate yourself from the rest of the world. But it's so much more alienating than vegetarianism.
Jonathan Safran Foer
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Steve Martin
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His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread.
Tom Hayden
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I have a very short attention span, which is funny. I mean, you'd watch me and think that I don't, but I actually do.
David Lowery
Camper Van Beethoven
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I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.
Jimmy Kimmel
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When I do comedy, it's not like I'm trying to be funny for folks; I look for the honesty in it. With James Early in 'Dreamgirls,' it was the honesty of it: it was the reality of the moment. You know, I don't know what makes me play sometimes. I really don't. I just do what I do. And that's what I did for 'Sliders,' and that's how I got the job.
Cleavant Derricks
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I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.
Nick Cannon
