Funny Quotes
-
His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread.
Tom Hayden
-
Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.
Johnny Vegas
-
Roosevelt could always keep ahead with his work, but I cannot do it, and I know it is a grievous fault, but it is too late to remedy it. The country must take me as it found me. Wasn't it your mother who had a servant girl who said it was no use for her to try to hurry, that she was a "Sunday chil" and no "Sunday chil" could hurry? I don't think I am a Sunday child, but I ought to have been; then I would have had an excuse for always being late.
William Howard Taft
-
There was no real gender definition in the sense of how you treat people in those days with gender differences. You avoided them. My parents always told me that you do not make fun of anybody, and so I didn't see anything funny about it.
David C. Driskell
-
Actually, the funny thing is, after all these years, I've got all these new songs to learn for the show we're doing at Joe's Pub, so it's kind of fun to get down and rehearse new things, and also rethink some of the older songs, how we're going to do them.
Lesley Gore
-
I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
Adam Sandler
-
Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.
Jerry Coleman
-
I like to rap about things that are funny but mostly things that are relatable. I remember there was this one song with Ja Rule, and I forgot, exactly, but it was with Ashanti, and there's a line in it that was like, 'She hit me up on AIM.' But that wasn't the actual line; it was something else, but I was like, 'Oh my God, he uses AIM!'
Nora Lum
-
Yeah, every bullpen they want to know how I'm doing, so that's funny. Once I'm on the mound I don't notice it, but it is funny. It's nice, and flattering.
Cole Hamels
-
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
Mike Myers
-
It (LSD) opened my eyes. We only use one-tenth of our brain. Just think of what we could accomplish if we could only tap that hidden part! It would mean a whole new world if the politicians would take LSD. There wouldn't be any more war or poverty or famine.
Paul McCartney
The Beatles
-
I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love.
Arthur Bradford
