Funny Quotes
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I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.
Jim Gaffigan
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Old white guys can be a funny bunch, can't they? The same anti-same-sex marriage, anti-affirmative action cadre can flower into the biggest supporters of 'equality' the minute they get a whiff of minority empowerment.
John Ridley
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I think the pattern of my essays is, A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake.
Leslie Fiedler
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It's funny, because 'Arrested Development' is tied to Andy Richter in a few different ways. For me personally, after I did Andy Richter, one of the next things I did was a show called 'Quintuplets' for a season for Fox, and this was while 'Arrested Development' was on. I used to go over and hang out on their set.
Andy Richter
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I come from a very big family. Nine parents.
Jim Gaffigan
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I was watching Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, "Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."
Jim Gaffigan
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The real challenge lies in maintaining dignity while being funny. I am in awe of Krushna Abhishek's energy and Bharti Singh's wit. They are infectious and selfless.
Amruta Khanvilkar
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Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.
Chris Pratt
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I'm a funny person, but I take my music seriously.
Cardi B
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Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
William Gibson
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It's funny how God will change your plans for you when he's ready.
Brett Young
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I worked with Tyler before on 'Daddy's Little Girls'. He couldn't be smarter or more laid back and cool. He's always throwing out lines and is funny as hell. And he was shining his light on 'Peeples', too, lending his name to showcase Tina as a first-time director, and me as a first-time lead.
Craig Robinson
