Funny Quotes
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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.
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Isn't it funny how we live inside the lies we believe?
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You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
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I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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Volleyball anchored me at a time in my life when I needed it. It gave me a reason for being this big, big girl.
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My paintings capture the humor, zaniness, and depth of the Batman villains as well as the Freudian motivations of Batman as an all-too-human, venerable, and funny vigilante superhero.
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Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest.
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I've always wanted to work with children, to help people, and to be funny.
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That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
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That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.
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Sometimes he hated that voice in his brain, the one that slapped him upside the head anytime he got too stupid. Funny, it happened a lot with Sienna.
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I'm a funny person, but I take my music seriously.
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You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great.
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I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.
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Any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!"
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You know, I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I'm kind of a big deal.
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I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
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In 'War Party,' I play a quarter-breed Indian. It's a serious movie, but it's funny, too.
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It's funny: I always, as a high school teacher and particularly as a high school yearbook teacher, because yearbook staffs are 90 percent female, I got to sit in and overhear teenage girl talk for many years. I like teenage girls; I like their drama, their foibles. And I think, 'I'll be good with a teenage daughter!'
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It is kind of funny that the people who don't think Hillary Clinton is fit and healthy enough to be president are so worried that Hillary Clinton is fit and healthy enough to be president.
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It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
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I do keep getting these bad girl roles. The funny thing is that, honestly, I don't think I'm believable as these aristocratic mean girls. But I do love playing them.
