Funny Quotes
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
Joseph Heller
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I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's also relentlessly positive.
Dylan Moran
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There's a difference between delivering real funny and just silly funny.
Lil Rel Howery
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And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now.
Sarah Silverman
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I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).
Dolly Parton
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That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.
Jerry Coleman
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That's the funny thing about arriving somewhere, Vin. Once you're there, the only thing you can really do is leave again
Brandon Sanderson
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I come from a very big family. Nine parents.
Jim Gaffigan
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There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!'
Lena Dunham
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It's funny: I always, as a high school teacher and particularly as a high school yearbook teacher, because yearbook staffs are 90 percent female, I got to sit in and overhear teenage girl talk for many years. I like teenage girls; I like their drama, their foibles. And I think, 'I'll be good with a teenage daughter!'
Rob Thomas
Matchbox Twenty
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It's funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale!
Kelly Osbourne
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This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff.
Cynthia Heimel
