Funny Quotes
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Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.
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As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing.
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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh.
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Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.
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Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.
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Cause see they call me a menace; and if the shoe fits I'll wear it.
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People would ask me, 'Is he as funny at home as he is in the movies?' ... I would have to answer, 'Well, he can be funny. But he is also very serious. He has insomnia and if we him up early, he would bawl the hell out of me'.
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It so coincided that Marcos had money. After the Bretton Woods agreement he started buying gold from Fort Knox. Three thousand tons, then 4,000 tons. I have documents for these: 7,000 tons. Marcos was so smart. He had it all. It's funny; America didn't understand him.
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For every book you buy, you should buy the time to read it.
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Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
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I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard.
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'White Teeth' has far too many characters, and its plot is tortured. But Smith has an astonishing intellect. She writes sharp dialogue for every age and race - and she's funny as hell.
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And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now.
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If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
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The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
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You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
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To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong!
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I hit Ali with everything and he said 'is that all you got' and I said 'yeah, that's pretty much it.'
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The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
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The music in Haiti is all tied up in voodoo and African rhythm, and so there's this funny thing: go to a voodoo ceremony, and then go to a Catholic church and tell me which music you liked better, to which one the music is more integral.
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I've heard players, and I'm talking about some of the best players in the league, question whether I've taken steroids or not. Some of the things I hear are pretty funny, and some people are idiots, frankly.
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If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. "Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill."
