Funny Quotes
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I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me I'd rather [my daughters] were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny - a thousand things, before 'thin'. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.
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I always wanted to have my own album released before I graduated from high school.
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The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there.
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I absolutely admit I had him in the handcuffs so he wouldn't go anywhere while I checked the computer... I certainly wasn't going to kill him. That's hardly going to do my career any good, is it?
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Society is really coming to a point where they're not asking if women can be funny anymore. We all know they obviously are.
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My strips are not always funny, and they can be pretty grim at times, and I know I lose readers because of it, but I can't do anything about it - my work is very much connected to something I need to do in order to feel stable.
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I actually can't watch blood and gore and all those things. I watch Netflix shows with my hand over my face, like, peeking out. Which is funny, because I'm on sets all the time, and I know how those effects are done.
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I wrote a pilot for myself. It's about a Latina actress trying to make it in Hollywood. It's pretty funny.
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I reach for funny books all the time to help me get through life.
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The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
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Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.
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'White Teeth' has far too many characters, and its plot is tortured. But Smith has an astonishing intellect. She writes sharp dialogue for every age and race - and she's funny as hell.
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I loved cartoons as a kid, and so many funny moments in animation for me are nonverbal sounds, unarticulated mouth noise.
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If I was at school and one of my friends said something funny, I'd write it down in a notebook and take it to the writers meetings. I never told my friends about it. I just thought I could incorporate stuff that was true to life.
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Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
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I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain't never been seen by this generation.
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Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"
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You can give a guy a funny line, but you can't make him say it funny.
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I haven't watched 'Mad TV' a lot, but I have seen some stuff on there that is truly funny. You have to have some sort of attitude toward the subject, and they seem to have it. It depends on how much blood you want to draw.
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
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It's so funny, you go to acting school thinking you're going to learn how to be other people, but really it taught me how to be myself. Because it's in understanding yourself deeply that you can lend yourself to another person's circumstances and another person's experience.
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That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
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Andy Dick is so gay, he thinks Margaret Cho is funny.
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Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.
