Funny Quotes
-
You can give a guy a funny line, but you can't make him say it funny.
Brad Garrett
-
I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid.
Will Forte
-
A political consultant, when we first started thinking about Senate race, said, "You can have one funny name. You can be 'Barack Smith.' Or you can be 'Joe Obama.' But 'Barack Obama' - that's not gonna work."
Barack Obama
-
A big part of becoming a funny person was a major defense mechanism. Onstage, especially as a woman, I've had to be really tough. The second you show a crack, the audience can literally leave.
Amy Schumer
-
You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III
Bad Meets Evil'
-
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
-
I'm not a quick wit. I'm only funny on paper. I mean, I'm not totally humorless! It's just that in person, I'm not quite the way I am on paper.
Mary Roach
-
I had the classic 40 meltdown, I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness.
Keanu Reeves
-
As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
William Shakespeare
-
I get called 'the girl off the dancing horse.' I just laugh; I think it's really funny. It's true, isn't it? It's great we're getting that recognition.
Charlotte Dujardin
-
My new years resolution? I will be less laz.
Jim Gaffigan
-
You don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo game.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III
Bad Meets Evil'
-
With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.
Kristen Wiig
-
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
Russell Baker
-
It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with.
Lindsay Lohan
-
Everyone told me to pass on Speed because it was a 'bus movie.'
Sandra Bullock
-
I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me I'd rather [my daughters] were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny - a thousand things, before 'thin'. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.
Joanne Rowling
-
I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
John Barrymore
-
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Steve Martin
-
When I write, I'm not trying to be funny. It's the way I look at the world.
Billy Collins
-
Journalists belong in the gutter because that is where the ruling classes throw their guilty secrets.
Gerald Priestland
-
It's funny because as much as I've done Dr. Freeman, I guess because I shave right afterwards, people don't recognize me necessarily as Dr. Freeman, whereas a small role like 'Garden State' or 'Get Him to the Greek', which is the funniest one to me, they're like, 'Hey, you're that dude!' and you're like, 'Oh my God!' Which is awesome.
Ato Essandoh
