Funny Quotes
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I didn't feel like I was putting anything good into the world, even though it was funny. I wanted to do something more positive that would have an impact. So even when I'm doing naked push-ups or whatever, it's astounding to see how people respond to it.
Zach Anner
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My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove tractors, made hay, milked cows, fed the chicken, fed the pigs.
Carol Bartz
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The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny.
Jason Alexander
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If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
Patton Oswalt
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It's funny because I think that both France and Britain are known for their distinctive styles, and everyone says that France is so chic and elegant but I think, more than that, French women are renowned for dressing in what suits them.
Alexa Chung
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It's funny when you know you're playing two characters and you're aware of how you have to play each one into your performance of the other. You're constantly at the back of your mind thinking and it all gets a bit confusing.
Jamie Dornan
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I love films. It's really funny, actually. Like, I see a lot of smaller movies. But a lot of these big, epic films that everyone's like, 'You have to see,' I haven't watched yet.
Anya Taylor-Joy
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There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
William Cosmo Monkhouse
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Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.
Sarah Silverman
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This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff.
Cynthia Heimel
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Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.
Jerry Coleman
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Stop it. Seriously. This isn't funny.' 'You're right.' A pause. 'It's pathetic.
Sarah Dessen
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It's funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale!
Kelly Osbourne
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Unfortunately, my system for tracking down funny female writers isn't methodical. It's mainly based on word-of-mouth, which can cast a limited net.
Nell Scovell
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The face of "evil" is always the face of total need. A dope fiend is a man in total need of dope. Beyond a certain frequency need knows absolutely no limit or control. In the words of total need: "Wouldn't you?" Yes you would. You would lie, cheat, inform on your friends, steal, do anything to satisfy total need. Because you would be in a state of total sickness, total possession, and not in a position to act in any other way. Dope fiends are sick people who cannot act other than they do. A rabid dog cannot choose but bite.
William S. Burroughs
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Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.
Jerry Coleman
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I always wanted to have my own album released before I graduated from high school.
Christina Aguilera
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If something is very, very funny but possibly controversial, if it's truly funny, then it's worth doing. Things aren't worth doing for the sake of being controversial.
John Mulaney
