Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
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When I watch a romantic comedy, I feel like they're selling something that doesn't exist. Two beautiful, but extremely unpleasant, people are terrible to each other for an hour, accidentally kiss, then decide to like each other during an extremely vague montage. That isn't how people fall in love.
Rainbow Rowell
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln
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It's funny, because I've never thought of myself as a Hispanic actor, like in 'American Gangster,' I'm playing an Italian. I've always been fortunate enough to have been allowed to play all these diverse roles.
Yul Vazquez
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I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
Edmund Hillary
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I'm a student of comedy in general, so I've always loved Billy Crystal. But I'm a different type of showman. I'm a clown and a jester.
T. J. Miller
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Thirty-three-years-old, still creating art. It's rage, it's creativity, it's pain, it's hurt, but it's the opportunity to still have my voice get out there through music.
Kanye West
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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
Mae West
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
Dane Cook
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I try to be an ethical, moral person and a nice person, and I like to have that reflected in my comedy. I'm not a mean comedian, and I don't think that my comedy is mean. I think that for the most part, it's more focused on the diversity that we all handle and try to provide a distraction from the disaster of modern living.
T. J. Miller
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You know, I was a huge fan of comedy and movies and TV growing up, and I was able to memorize and mimic a lot of things, not realizing that that meant I probably wanted to be an actor.
Hank Azaria
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Comedy has become, I think, a very important branch of public intellectualism. But it still ain't Washington.
Kate McKinnon
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We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.
Daniel Dennett
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It's funny: sometimes with 'Spaced,' people would try and read too much into something I'd done, with the references meaning something more than they do.
Edgar Wright
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Even in comedy, I'm always the straight guy, which is okay because that's a skill. But it would be nice to get out of that box.
Maura Tierney
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If you're making a bunch of little decisions - like, do I read this email now or later? Do I file it? Do I forward it? Do I have to get more information? Do I put it in the spam folder? - that's a handful of decisions right there, and you haven't done anything meaningful. It puts us into a brain state of decision fatigue.
Daniel Levitin
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Discovering various economists, economic works, reading financial periodicals and keeping up on current events in geopolitics and economics around the world opened my eyes to many facets of how the extended order works.
Kurt Bills
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I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.
Jerry Coleman
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I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.
Jim Gaffigan
