Funny Quotes
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I'm an educator. You do what you have to do to get what you are saying across, and if that means being funny, that's what I do.
Bill Nye -
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
Tommy Cooper
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Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.
Jerry Coleman -
The day was warm and clear. Kids were playing soccer in the parking lots and women were sunning their babies and having their tea all over the lawns. The scene was entirely too cheery for journalism.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!
Jerry Coleman -
I'm still compulsively interested in women. It's funny, I've always compulsively photographed women. I still do.
Garry Winogrand -
You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.
Jerry Coleman -
I like things that are funny and have a lot else in them besides that - ideas, for example.
Geoff Dyer
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I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.
Jim Gaffigan -
It's funny because Hollywood is such a small place that everyone really is less than 6 degrees of separation.
Kevin Connolly -
'Indiana Jones' wasn't physically tough, but they are the only two films I've ever been ill on. On 'The Last Crusade,' I got sciatica. That's when the sciatic nerve, which goes through the funny hole in your pelvis down your leg, swells and rubs against the nerves.
John Rhys-Davies -
I do like dating cynics - they tend to be incredibly funny.
Chris Pine -
It's great when improv is encouraged. It's a really fun thing. It depends on who's in the movie and how their process works as well. It takes a director who is open to that because you have a script, but then something funny could happen on set.
Lily Collins -
Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed.
William James
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Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.
Bill Vaughan -
I come from a very big family. Nine parents.
Jim Gaffigan -
I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!"
Jim Gaffigan -
I rang the bell of this small bed-and breakfast place, whereupon a lady appeared at an outside window. "What do you want?", she asked. "I want to stay here", I replied. "Well, stay there then", she said and closed the window.
Chic Murray -
Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others rob you with a fountain pen.
Woody Guthrie -
I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room
Mercedes McCambridge
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Literature has drawn a funny perimeter that other art forms haven't.
Jonathan Safran Foer -
A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.
Chic Murray -
I am the funny, crazy person.
Loni Love -
I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.
Jerry Coleman