Funny Quotes
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His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread.
Tom Hayden -
I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!
Homer
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Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III Bad Meets Evil' -
If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast.
Amber Valletta -
They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.
Kevin Keegan -
And it's very, very funny When you've lots and lots of money To be horrible to those with none! Be horrible to those with none!
Anna Russell -
The word 'Spanx' was funny. It made people laugh. No one ever forgot it.
Sara Blakely -
Since I became more confident, I've thought, 'Right, let me get myself on the market'. So I joined Tinder and Chappie, and it was funny because, at first, the sites thought I was an imposter.
Anzia Yezierska
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You don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo game.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III Bad Meets Evil' -
Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.
Jerry Coleman -
I try to find a way to make it comfortable or interesting or funny to me.
Owen Wilson -
My daughters are both funny and smart and lots of fun. They play lacrosse, soccer, musical instruments, like to cook with me, and are naturals in the swimming pool. Honestly, though, what I like doing most with them is eating. I've worked really hard to make sure they are willing to try all sorts of different foods.
Alexi Zentner -
Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.
Jerry Coleman -
As a model, we come in the room, and we are casted just on our looks. I think I'm funny; I think I'm clever. But in the end, they're picking me for my cheekbones or if I'm tall enough.
Coco Rocha
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They that go down to the sea in ships' see strange things, but what they tell is oft-times stranger still. A faculty for romancing is imparted by a seafaring life as readily and surely as a rolling gait and a weather-beaten countenance. A fine imagination is one of the gifts of the ocean-witness the surprising and unlimited power of expression and epithet possessed by the sailor. And a fine imagination will frequently manifest itself in other ways besides swear words.
Gertrude Bacon -
People would ask me, 'Is he as funny at home as he is in the movies?' ... I would have to answer, 'Well, he can be funny. But he is also very serious. He has insomnia and if we him up early, he would bawl the hell out of me'.
Arthur Marx -
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
Simon Callow -
Tell me, was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?
William Archibald Spooner -
It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
Jerry Coleman -
Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers.
Norman Douglas
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Maybe it has something to do with the pull of the moon because, despite the statistical improbability of any two people meeting up, it is inevitable that the tremulous are drawn to the languished, the sick to the broken, the forsaken to the sad, every pot has its cover, and the funny to the funny ones, too.
Binnie Kirshenbaum -
Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
William Goldman -
My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
Chic Murray -
The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
Emma Stone