Funny Quotes
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Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.
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He can be lethal death.
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It's funny because I'm a sucker for glitz and glitter when it comes to clothes and nail polish, but with my makeup, I'm more comfortable with a natural look. It feels more like me.
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Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!
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Being gay has never been a big deal to me, which is why it's a little funny to be getting all this attention about it.
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Our job is like a baker's work - his rolls are tasty as long as they're fresh; after two days they're stale; after a week, they're covered with mould and fit only to be thrown out.
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I don't really find things funny unless they're deeply tragic at the same time. I think if you're funny just for the sake of being funny, it's just frivolous nonsense. To me, all the best comic plays have been written about really serious and rather bleak things.
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Every experience in your life is being orchestrated to teach you something you need to know to move forward.
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Nobody cared about swimming. You could draw a crowd for basketball.
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
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Wikipedia is just an incredible thing. It is fact-encirclingly huge, and it is idiosyncratic, careful, messy, funny, shocking and full of simmering controversies - and it is free, and it is fast.
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I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
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Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God.
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
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I'd like to do a film which is funny.
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It's funny because when I first met with Carmen, she said, "Have you ever thought about doing TV?" And I was like, "No, not really, but I'd audition for TV." And she said, "That's where the roles are for women now. That's where you can go and get a really great part."
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They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
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Maybe because I began as a writer, I have a good ear for dialogue, and maybe being an English major - and that I also read a lot as a kid - if I hear somebody say something that I think's funny, or I find a situation or story, I'll try to work that into the movie.
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A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.
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He many not be hurt as much as he really is.
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George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.
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Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.
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Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.
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So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
