Funny Quotes
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Every morning I hear the alarm, it's like "BEEP BEEP BEEP" For second I'm like, "I could get used to that, just dream I'm in a techno club, or something."
Jim Gaffigan
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A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
Texas Guinan
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Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think, ‘Oh, they’re nice,’ but if a stranger’s ugly, you’re like, ‘What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.
Jim Gaffigan
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To the people I forgot, you weren't on my mind for some reason and you probably don't deserve any thanks anyway.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III
Bad Meets Evil'
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I love to make things. If I have some free time and you have a dollar and a dream and you are making something funny and cool I'd love to be a part of it.
Daniel Franzese
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It's funny - there's nothing that stops you laughing like the sight of other people laughing about something else.
Michael Frayn
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Sam writes in her funny, fascinating memoir, Not By Accident.
Ben Sherwood
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I don't think you can strategize to be poetic and neither can you strategize to be funny. It is not a tool, it is itself - it comes from the moment, from the character, from the background, from the streets.
Elia Suleiman
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People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
Jim Gaffigan
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Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.
Jerry Coleman
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My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
Chic Murray
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A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it.
Tony Scott
