Funny Quotes
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Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.
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They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
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Every experience in your life is being orchestrated to teach you something you need to know to move forward.
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I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
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Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.
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Maybe it has something to do with the pull of the moon because, despite the statistical improbability of any two people meeting up, it is inevitable that the tremulous are drawn to the languished, the sick to the broken, the forsaken to the sad, every pot has its cover, and the funny to the funny ones, too.
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As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.
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So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
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The big ballpark can do it all!
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There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed.
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Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up.
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I did a lot of sitcoms, and being funny isn't about being beautiful. Usually, beautiful people aren't the funny people.
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A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.
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Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.
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Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.
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My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo? Why did you say 'Moo'?" The other dog says, "I'm trying to learn a foreign language."
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When I die, so does hip hop.
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
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All I can do is keep my nose down and shoot the scene, shoot the scene, make it funny, make it funny, make it funny.
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Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.
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The funny thing is, when you look at photos of Tuvia Bielski, he was fair, blue-eyed, and could pass for a Gentile.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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My daughters are both funny and smart and lots of fun. They play lacrosse, soccer, musical instruments, like to cook with me, and are naturals in the swimming pool. Honestly, though, what I like doing most with them is eating. I've worked really hard to make sure they are willing to try all sorts of different foods.
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Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.
