Funny Quotes
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Steve Martin
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Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh, no he isn't! It's a lap record.
Murray Walker
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Learn from the masters, learn from your contemporaries. Always try to update yourself.
James Stewart
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My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.
Jim Gaffigan
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We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had the wrong idea first, and so on. So there isn't any place to publish, in a dignified manner, what you actually did in order to get to do the work, although, there has been in these days, some interest in this kind of thing.
Richard Feynman
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The funny thing about advertising is that it's not a zero-sum game... Historically, in the digital ad world, pie has gotten larger and it's possible for everyone to win, and it's perfectly possible that will continue to be true for quite some time.
Eric Schmidt
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I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.
George Foreman
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I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"
Jim Gaffigan
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When I was a kid my father would read Neil Simon plays with me when I was going to bed, as bedtime stories. All of these old plays like The Odd Couple and Lost in Yonkers - funny but corny plays about Jewish New Yorkers in the mid-20th century.
Zach Woods
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You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."
Jim Gaffigan
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You can never not feel like that, as a working artist these days. It's funny - time off makes me nervous, but so does time on. At least the pressure wasn't coming from outside.
Zach Condon
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Always enter like a kitten and leave like a lion. But NEVER enter like a lion and leave like a kitten. Always be humble.
Carlson Gracie
