Funny Quotes
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I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.
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Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.
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The 1930s was a funny time. People knew they might not live for another six months, so if they were attracted to one another, there was no time to dawdle.
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I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess.
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I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
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You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.
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Funny, how once you touched off a memory, it was like pulling out a stitch—all the others kept unraveling.
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These walls are funny. First you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.
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A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.
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I don’t really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric... I’m not operating on somebody’s brain, you know what I mean? So I just think it’s all funny.
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The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.
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Fast pitch softball is just as dangerous as baseball. The ball is bigger so you can see it better, but the size also makes for a bigger space to move out of its way.
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Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
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The funny thing about advertising is that it's not a zero-sum game... Historically, in the digital ad world, pie has gotten larger and it's possible for everyone to win, and it's perfectly possible that will continue to be true for quite some time.
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There is no insanity so devastating in man's life as utter sanity.
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In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
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I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
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I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.
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If America cannot win a war in a week, it begins negotiating with itself.
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It's funny because when I first met with Carmen, she said, "Have you ever thought about doing TV?" And I was like, "No, not really, but I'd audition for TV." And she said, "That's where the roles are for women now. That's where you can go and get a really great part."
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My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.
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A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it.
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It's funny to be a critic.
