Funny Quotes
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As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
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I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
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She's strong! And scary...I bet she's single...I'd put money on it.
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It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.
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Getting fan mail from Brazil is kind of funny.
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Since I became more confident, I've thought, 'Right, let me get myself on the market'. So I joined Tinder and Chappie, and it was funny because, at first, the sites thought I was an imposter.
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When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.
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That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.
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As humourless a lump of dough as ever held a torchlight vigil outside the South African Embassy or stuck an AIDS awareness ribbon on an unwilling first-nighter.
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The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.
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You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
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I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!"
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That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year.
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The history of those who shed those other tears, the history of those anonymous millions, is what Terkel wants readers and listeners to come away with. What's it like to be that goofy little soldier, scared stiff, with his bayonet aimed at Christ? What's it like to have been a woman in a defense-plant job during World War II? What's it like to be a kid at the front lines? It's all funny and tragic at the same time.
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As long as the wrong feels right - it's like I'm in flight.
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An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.
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Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it.
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McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.
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That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.
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Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
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Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
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At school I was very shy. I wasn't funny really.
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What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'
