Funny Quotes
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It's pretty funny when we go out to countries where the drinking age is 13 or 14, and we all go to bars and order and drink some stuff. Our parents will go, 'Hey!' And we go, 'We are legal to drink here!'
Ben Gillies
Silverchair
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Since I became more confident, I've thought, 'Right, let me get myself on the market'. So I joined Tinder and Chappie, and it was funny because, at first, the sites thought I was an imposter.
Anzia Yezierska
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Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
Jerry Coleman
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You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
Jerry Coleman
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck
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It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.
Jerry Coleman
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That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.
Jerry Coleman
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
Tommy Cooper
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It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.
Stephen Fry
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Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
Carrie Snow
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It's lap 26 of 58, which unless I'm very much mistaken is half way.
Murray Walker
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I can go right, I can go left, I'm amphibious.
Charles Shackleford
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And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race.
Murray Walker
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Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it.
Philip Seymour Hoffman
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She's strong! And scary...I bet she's single...I'd put money on it.
Masashi Kishimoto
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As long as the wrong feels right - it's like I'm in flight.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III
Bad Meets Evil'
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When we shot that Westworld, it was so funny. Not funny - I mean, like, funny-strange because I, personally as an actress and as a person, am so used to having to play the damsel, that when we were shooting that scene, and Jimmi looked at me and said, "Dolores, run," I ran. Then I stopped myself, and I turned around and I went, "Oh my God. I'm so used to running."
Evan Rachel Wood
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The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.
Steve Martin
