Funny Quotes
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Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird.
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I had several turtles before they were in. People seemed to think they were funny. Now everyone is wearing them practically every place. I think that's real fine, but I don't agree they should go to a formal affair. Turtlenecks with dinner jackets seem ridiculous to me.
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Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there's plenty of ways to do that.
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People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there's a deep anxiety going on.
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It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months.
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I don't necessarily like wearing lipstick; I just think it's funny to do. I think the darker the better, but it's whatever my girlfriend Kiera has in her purse.
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Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.
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It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
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I think my first album opened a lot of doors for me to push the freedom of speech to the limit.
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I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.
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I don't think I was anything short of ecstatic when I found out 'It's Kind of a Funny Story' would be premiering in Toronto.
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It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well.
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I'm fascinated with the stories that we tell. Real histories become fantasies and fairy tales, morality tales and fables. There's something interesting and funny and perverse about the way fairytale sometimes passes for history, for truth.
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If someone were to say seriously, "I'm divine," she'd have to be locked up. There are lots of people in mental institutions going around saying "I'm God." But because I'm funny about it, they haven't locked me up yet. And I don't give myself airs, either.
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Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.
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It's pretty funny, just driving by in a cab, and you see a huge billboard of yourself on the side of a hotel, like a 100-by-100 poster hanging up.
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The presidency has a funny way of making a person feel the need to pray.
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I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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I was raised by women. Now I'm raising women. I was always better around girls. I live in an all-female household. I even have two female dogs... It's funny how that turned out.
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I hear a lot of people singing in funny voices and singing like they're stupid. Singing in a deliberately fey and dumb and childish way. And I find it to be a disturbing trend.
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Novels are not about expressing yourself, they're about something beautiful, funny, clever and organic. Self-expression? Go and ring a bell in a yard if you want to express yourself.
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Isn't it funny? You hear a phone ring and it could be anybody. But, a ringing phone has to be answered doesn't it?
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I had spent many years before I was 31 hearing people tell me, Oh Man, you're so funny, you need to be in television. But that and a quarter won't get you on a bus.
