Psychiatrist Quotes
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I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
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I'm not a psychiatrist.
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If you don't know what sex is before you're 21 you're going to have a problem and should go to your psychiatrist.
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In Florida I was illiterate, Boxing Authority didn't want me, then they had a special psychiatrist to come to Kentucky, they checked and they didn't want me. But as soon as my name was Mohammed Ali, as soon as I announced I was a Muslim, then all of a sudden I became smart.
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I had to work with a psychiatrist.
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If I wasn't in fashion, I would have been a psychiatrist.
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That's the era we grew up in. It's weak to go to a psychiatrist.
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Four times I looked for psychiatric help, and each time I arrived at the inescapable conclusion that the psychiatrist was crazier than I was.
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As the LSD began to take effect, I suddenly said in a very loud voice, while pounding on top of a file, “Every psychiatrist, every psychoanalyst should be forced to take LSD in order to know what is over here.”
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Part of doing stand-up is to get things off your chest. It's a bit like being in a psychiatrist's chair - but more enjoyable.
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A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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I read a book recently by a psychiatrist who was able to interview a few serial killers and she had a thesis on how you could figure these people out. And she thinks that there are things that could tell you whether someone has the potential to do that.
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One thought-murder a day keeps the psychiatrist away.
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What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
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My view of actors is that basically they're all harmless lunatics who'd be on the psychiatrist's couch.
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If a psychiatrist would analyze [the lyrics], I'm sure they'd come up with something interesting. I really don't try to twist them. I don't want to slash things.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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The main thing is to make up your mind. If you're going to do it, do it, and if you're just going to halfway do it don't even try. This is a very demanding thing. I stay simple, I didn't get a whole lot of education, so most of it's just coming from what I gathered up. If you stay honest we've all got in common that we're all different. If you stay real deadly honest and write about some very interesting things then you'll be a good one. A lot of people just don't like to get honest but it's the cheapest psychiatrist there is. I think that's the way to look at it.
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But we should ask the question: Why should a writer be more than a writer? Why should a writer be a guru? Why are we supposed to be psychiatrists? Isn't it enough to write and tell the truth? It's not like telling the truth is common. Writers are the earthworms of society. We aerate the soil. That's enough.
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With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
