Chelsea Handler Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Let's judge a man on what he's done.
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I've spent so many years talking about poverty and economic justice, I'm strongly tempted to get biblical. Jesus' teachings are so radical; they're just insanely generous and apocalyptic. Christians become more fascinated by the dead Jesus. They don't like the living Jesus.
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I've got Asperger's syndrome and I'm not a very good people person, so I've always been more comfortable around machinery. Not in a weird way - I don't want to marry my car or anything stupid like that!
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I was a big 'Battlestar Galactica' fan and 'Star Trek' fan. I grew up watching those.
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I think you have to keep a childlike quality to play music or make a record.
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Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber is the greatest bad guy in a movie ever.
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It is much more difficult to measure nonperformance than performance.
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Losing a child is probably the singular most horrible thing.
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I work eight hours a day, but I'm not writing all that time. I'm thinking, editing, looking something up. Thinking is what I do a lot of.
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I still keep my accent.
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I'm a chubby middle-aged white guy with short hair. I think that's it, really. I kind of have a look. Right now, I'm not fat enough to be the fat friend, but I'm not thin enough to be the leading man, so I look like a cop.
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The patterns of big-band music are smooth and classical. It's got to be fresh. The brass section should crackle, like the sound of eggs being dropped into hot grease.
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Every time I work on a new set, I take whatever I can from it and learn as much as I can around the people who I am working with.
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I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
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Your plays are always personal. You can't help seeing yourself in the serial killer you've just written. But they get less specifically personal.
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I've made up my mind. I'll take my court martial.
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If you don't shop smart, you get a little trendy.
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My whole life I've had the fear that I was going to be abandoned.
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I like Adele, Mika, Natacha Atlas and a beautiful old record, 'An Evening with Belafonte/Mouskouri,' starring Harry Belafonte and Nana Mouskouri. What they have in common is they all have incredible voices. I am very much into voices. I would say I'm a fan of voices, not of sound. I'm a fan of singers, not of bands.
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In my worldview, there are filers, and there are pilers. Filers think alphabetically. Pilers think geologically.
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He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
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My ideal kinda guy, if I was really gonna go there even though he's married, is Mark Wahlberg. To me he's a little black and white, the kinda guy who would understand if I pull my weave out.
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How happily, said Austerlitz, have I sat over a book in the deepening twilight until I could no longer make out the words and my mind began to wander, and how secure have I felt seated at the desk in my house in the dark night, just watching the tip of my pencil in the lamplight following its shadow, as if of its own accord and with perfect fidelity, while that shadow moved regularly from left to right, line by line, over the ruled paper.
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I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
