Chelsea Handler Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Let's judge a man on what he's done.
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I've spent so many years talking about poverty and economic justice, I'm strongly tempted to get biblical. Jesus' teachings are so radical; they're just insanely generous and apocalyptic. Christians become more fascinated by the dead Jesus. They don't like the living Jesus.
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I've got Asperger's syndrome and I'm not a very good people person, so I've always been more comfortable around machinery. Not in a weird way - I don't want to marry my car or anything stupid like that!
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I was a big 'Battlestar Galactica' fan and 'Star Trek' fan. I grew up watching those.
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I think you have to keep a childlike quality to play music or make a record.
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Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber is the greatest bad guy in a movie ever.
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It is much more difficult to measure nonperformance than performance.
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Losing a child is probably the singular most horrible thing.
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I work eight hours a day, but I'm not writing all that time. I'm thinking, editing, looking something up. Thinking is what I do a lot of.
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I still keep my accent.
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I'm a chubby middle-aged white guy with short hair. I think that's it, really. I kind of have a look. Right now, I'm not fat enough to be the fat friend, but I'm not thin enough to be the leading man, so I look like a cop.
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The patterns of big-band music are smooth and classical. It's got to be fresh. The brass section should crackle, like the sound of eggs being dropped into hot grease.
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Every time I work on a new set, I take whatever I can from it and learn as much as I can around the people who I am working with.
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I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
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Your plays are always personal. You can't help seeing yourself in the serial killer you've just written. But they get less specifically personal.
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I've made up my mind. I'll take my court martial.
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If you don't shop smart, you get a little trendy.
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My whole life I've had the fear that I was going to be abandoned.
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After my stellar first grade academic achievements, I continued to perform well in the city primary schools - except for penmanship, which was not my forte.
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I don't care about sex anymore. It's a headache. It's hard to trust people. You talk to a girl, and then she screenshots a text message.
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While the women just want to have consequence-free sex anti-contraceptive argument is often trotted out by latter-day social conservatives, such a view is a cruel and misogynist oversimplification. A more realistic assessment of the struggle for effective contraception would be to see it as the struggle to achieve some level of control over the single most dangerous, resource-intensive, and biologically crucial activity in which human beings regularly engage.
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A two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and a region free of Iranian nukes are worthy goals that should be able to withstand public scrutiny in every Middle Eastern capital.
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Film school was a privilege I could not afford.
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I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
