Chelsea Handler Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Let's judge a man on what he's done.
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I've spent so many years talking about poverty and economic justice, I'm strongly tempted to get biblical. Jesus' teachings are so radical; they're just insanely generous and apocalyptic. Christians become more fascinated by the dead Jesus. They don't like the living Jesus.
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I've got Asperger's syndrome and I'm not a very good people person, so I've always been more comfortable around machinery. Not in a weird way - I don't want to marry my car or anything stupid like that!
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I was a big 'Battlestar Galactica' fan and 'Star Trek' fan. I grew up watching those.
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I think you have to keep a childlike quality to play music or make a record.
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Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber is the greatest bad guy in a movie ever.
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It is much more difficult to measure nonperformance than performance.
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Losing a child is probably the singular most horrible thing.
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I work eight hours a day, but I'm not writing all that time. I'm thinking, editing, looking something up. Thinking is what I do a lot of.
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I still keep my accent.
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I'm a chubby middle-aged white guy with short hair. I think that's it, really. I kind of have a look. Right now, I'm not fat enough to be the fat friend, but I'm not thin enough to be the leading man, so I look like a cop.
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Every time I work on a new set, I take whatever I can from it and learn as much as I can around the people who I am working with.
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I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
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Your plays are always personal. You can't help seeing yourself in the serial killer you've just written. But they get less specifically personal.
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I've made up my mind. I'll take my court martial.
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If you don't shop smart, you get a little trendy.
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My whole life I've had the fear that I was going to be abandoned.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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To know whether stocks are cheap or pricey, we typically look at price-to-earnings ratio. Valuation is a tougher question than many folks realize.
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I don't want my poems to be sentimental, though I do acknowledge that sentiment is probably rather under-reported in a lot of people's feelings a lot of the time.
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I never thought of myself as a songwriter. I was just an artist writing songs, and they just happened to get placed.
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You're an awful little guy to be such a big thief.
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There is a rhythm to the ending of a marriage just like the rhythm of a courtship-only backward. You try to start again but get into blaming over and over. Finally you are both worn out, exhausted, hopeless. Then lawyers are called in to pick clean the corpses. The death has occurred much earlier.
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I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
