Chelsea Handler Quotes

Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else's words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It's the most narcissistic thing you could probably do.

Chelsea Handler

• Up
• World
• Words

It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself.

Chelsea Handler

• Life
• Time
• Long

In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante.

Chelsea Handler

• Up
• Different
• Relationship

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• She
• Fun

I like to celebrate my life. I have a life that I'm really lucky to have, and so I want to make sure every minute counts and that I go on great vacations and I share my memories with people that I love and that will make me laugh and lalalalalala.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Life
• Great

I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people.

Chelsea Handler

• People

People are following me because they want to see pictures of me. So why is Instagram editing them?

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Why

Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Friends
• Wedding

I thought I'd become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.

Chelsea Handler

Network TV is so limiting. There are so many parameters.

Chelsea Handler

There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Fun
• Interesting

There's times where you think, 'Gosh, what if nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say?'

Chelsea Handler

Jews are underdogs - not in my world, obviously, they're not.

Chelsea Handler

• World

There's only so much you can say about celebrity, obviously.

Chelsea Handler

• Celebrity

That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.

Chelsea Handler

• Relationship
• Effort
• Struggle

Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com.

Chelsea Handler

• Sister

I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it.

Chelsea Handler

• Art
• Fun

My position as the best-selling author at E! is secure - unless Salman Rushdie develops a show with them.

Chelsea Handler

• Author

I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Comedy
• Serious

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.

Chelsea Handler

• Pretty
• Eyes
• Weird

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

Chelsea Handler

• Funny

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.

Chelsea Handler

• Marriage

I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.

Chelsea Handler

There are times I felt insecure or not sure: I'm unsure of myself, or I get nervous, but nerves are good. I try and embrace all those things. I try and embrace the times where I'm not sure of myself or I'm like, 'Is this going to work? Is this going to land?'

Chelsea Handler

• Good
• Work