Chelsea Handler Quotes
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We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious?
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That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.
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If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.
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I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
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I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.
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I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.
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We women have to stick together.
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I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss.
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TMZ is so disgusting.
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My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.
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I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
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I think you do need two terms as a president.
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I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.
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I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.