Chelsea Handler Quotes
- All Quotes
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Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.
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I like the minute when I can get off the stage and go home, and I know I've done a good job.
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I'm not superstitious at all. I'm not a Russian.
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If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.
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There's a lot of pretty funny women out there.
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TMZ is so disgusting.
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I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss.
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I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.
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I think you do need two terms as a president.
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We women have to stick together.
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I like being able to, you know, pack up and leave the country and hop on a plane and go wherever I want and stay wherever and bring my friends with me and bring my family on vacation. That's amazing.
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I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
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My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.
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I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.