- All Quotes
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That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.
Chelsea Handler -
I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.
Chelsea Handler
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The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.
Chelsea Handler -
We women have to stick together.
Chelsea Handler -
I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.
Chelsea Handler -
I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.
Chelsea Handler -
I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss.
Chelsea Handler -
I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
Chelsea Handler
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My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.
Chelsea Handler -
TMZ is so disgusting.
Chelsea Handler -
I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
Chelsea Handler -
I like being able to, you know, pack up and leave the country and hop on a plane and go wherever I want and stay wherever and bring my friends with me and bring my family on vacation. That's amazing.
Chelsea Handler -
I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.
Chelsea Handler -
I think you do need two terms as a president.
Chelsea Handler