Chelsea Handler Quotes

I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.

Chelsea Handler

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• She
• Fun

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Good
• Real

Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun.

Chelsea Handler

• Fun

When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.

Chelsea Handler

I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me.

Chelsea Handler

• Attention

Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift.

Chelsea Handler

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

Chelsea Handler

• Funny

Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult.

Chelsea Handler

• Life

I encourage interoffice romance.

Chelsea Handler

I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be interesting when you're doing it?

Chelsea Handler

• Why
• Interesting
• Silly

Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com.

Chelsea Handler

• Sister

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

Chelsea Handler

• Friends

I like the minute when I can get off the stage and go home, and I know I've done a good job.

Chelsea Handler

• Good
• Done
• Home

I thought I'd become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.

Chelsea Handler

I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.

Chelsea Handler

• Children
• Trying
• Kids

The whole point of remaining on cable is to remain true to who I am. That's a bad, bad girl that got a big job.

Chelsea Handler

• Job
• Bad
• True

I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.

Chelsea Handler

• Good
• Great
• Job

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.

Chelsea Handler

• Pretty
• Eyes
• Weird

The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.

Chelsea Handler

• Job

Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Earth

I'm not superstitious at all. I'm not a Russian.

Chelsea Handler

There's a lot of pretty funny women out there.

Chelsea Handler

• Women
• Pretty
• Funny

If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.

Chelsea Handler

• Family