Chelsea Handler Quotes

Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com.

Chelsea Handler

• Sister

You can't have friendships that aren't based on realness.

Chelsea Handler

• Friendships

I don't have a lot of shame. That doesn't mean I can't feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don't have a lot of guilt, no. I've always been this way. I'm missing a chip.

Chelsea Handler

• Bad
• Missing

Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift.

Chelsea Handler

I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.

Chelsea Handler

I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven very well for me.

Chelsea Handler

I encourage interoffice romance.

Chelsea Handler

I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.

Chelsea Handler

• Good
• Great
• Job

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.

Chelsea Handler

• Marriage

I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.

Chelsea Handler

• Children
• Trying
• Kids

Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun.

Chelsea Handler

• Fun

People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• World
• Men

That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.

Chelsea Handler

• Relationship
• Effort
• Struggle

When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.

Chelsea Handler

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

Chelsea Handler

• Funny

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

Chelsea Handler

• Funny

The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.

Chelsea Handler

• Job

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Good
• Real

Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult.

Chelsea Handler

• Life

I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.

Chelsea Handler

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

Chelsea Handler

• Friends

Every time I enter a country and have to write down my occupation at customs, I'm like, 'I don't know... Author? Host? Writer? Stand-up?' I usually write 'author' - that's the safest bet.

Chelsea Handler

• Up
• Time
• Country

Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Earth

We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious?

Chelsea Handler

• Real
• Serious
• Teenager