Chelsea Handler Quotes

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

Chelsea Handler

• Funny

I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Comedy
• Serious

I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it.

Chelsea Handler

• Art
• Fun

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.

Chelsea Handler

• Pretty
• Eyes
• Weird

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

Chelsea Handler

• Funny

I encourage interoffice romance.

Chelsea Handler

My position as the best-selling author at E! is secure - unless Salman Rushdie develops a show with them.

Chelsea Handler

• Author

I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be interesting when you're doing it?

Chelsea Handler

• Why
• Interesting
• Silly

Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift.

Chelsea Handler

Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun.

Chelsea Handler

• Fun

The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.

Chelsea Handler

• Job

Every time I enter a country and have to write down my occupation at customs, I'm like, 'I don't know... Author? Host? Writer? Stand-up?' I usually write 'author' - that's the safest bet.

Chelsea Handler

• Up
• Time
• Country

I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied - so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared.

Chelsea Handler

• School
• Today

I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.

Chelsea Handler

• Good
• Great
• Job

I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven very well for me.

Chelsea Handler

I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.

Chelsea Handler

As the youngest of six kids, I grew up spending summers on Martha's Vineyard, and I was always topless. All the pictures are of me in jean shorts, no shirt - with my brothers, playing football.

Chelsea Handler

• Up
• Kids
• Football

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Good
• Real

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

Chelsea Handler

• Friends

People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• World
• Men

We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious?

Chelsea Handler

• Real
• Serious
• Teenager

Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult.

Chelsea Handler

• Life

When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.

Chelsea Handler

Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.

Chelsea Handler

• People
• Earth