Bill Engvall Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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In general, I think the world is a good place if you work hard, believe in yourself, have good intentions, and if you are kind to people, I believe that good things happen to you.
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If you want to put golf back on the front pages again, and you don't have a Bobby Jones or a Francis Ouimet handy, here's what you do: You send an aging Jack Nicklaus out in the last round of the Masters and let him kill more foreigners than a general named Eisenhower.
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When men are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.
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To me the definition of true masculinity – and femininity, too – is being able to lay in your own skin comfortably.
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How boring would this world be if everyone was the same?
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The virtues of science are skepticism and independence of thought.
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The book to read is not the one which thinks for you, but the one which makes you think. No book in the world equals the Bible for that.
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True as the needle to the pole, Or as the dial to the sun.
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I don't have a real home. When I got 'Avatar,' I sold everything that I owned because I knew it was going to be a long journey. I've got two bags, and that was four years ago, and I've been working ever since, and I've still only got two bags - a bag of books and a bag of clothes. That's about it.
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I have a whole area in my closet for displaying shoes. They are in rows. But nobody comes in my closet, so they are only on display for me. It's pretty spectacular.
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Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
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When I left home after graduating high school, I left as a migrant agricultural worker with a Modern Library edition of Plato in my duffel bag. It sounds kind of crazy, but I loved it. I loved the stuff. Before I knew there was a subject called philosophy, I loved it.
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I do myself up kind of like a doll. I have a doll collection and I look at their outfits and kind of imitate them.
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Win or lose, I always like to get back to my friends and family. They keep me grounded. When I'm home with my friends, I'm always the same Gabriel. I'm no better or worse in their eyes because of my results. It's good to be with your true friends. It always reminds me of where I'm from and who I am.
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Les Miserables is one of my favorite stories.
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Everybody has to find out: who are you? What do you believe in?
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And then we watched an amazing number of movies from the late '60s and '70s, which is my favorite time, and we studied their camera movements, their stocks, the way they lit stuff, the colors they used.
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I loved the writing process. I loved it.
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People pay lip service to saving the planet, but they don't – they fail to make the big leap that if you want to save the planet, kill your fucking self. The planet will be saved without you. And what a delightful place it'll be. Welcome. It's a new thing I'm working on, called 'The Comedy of Hate'. Join in.
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When you wrap up your self-worth with your talent, and suddenly you might not be the most talented, that's really scary. And I think that fear is in part why I turned to comedy because I had no expectations of being a comedian. It was exciting to get good at something where I wasn't afraid of not being the best.
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When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.
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I didn't want my opponent to know there was anything wrong with me.
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What I do is not regional comedy, and it is not based in the southern area.
