Bill Engvall Quotes
-
There's a lot of things I believe in this world. I believe in God, I believe in the United States of America, and I support and believe in the Second Amendment.
-
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties. Welcome to my world.
-
Watching NASCAR with my wife is like taking a test. Every single turn, she has a question. Now, here's the problem. Sometimes her questions actually make sense. I don't have an answer for them. So, I have to that guy thing and go Pfft! You ever hear your man do that, ladies? That means he doesn't know the answer, but he's thinking.
-
I am feeling older every day.
-
about how people in the 90's used 'awesome' wrongly
-
I like to hang on to cars. I'm not one of these guys that goes flipping cars all the time. If I find a car I like, I stick with it.
-
Bill and his brother-in-law had shot a deer and drove it in to get processed. At a rest stop, a woman stops at the truck
-
When I drove up on the set one day, and they'd put up a sign that says 'The Bill Engvall Show,' I stood there for 20 minutes just staring at it. The director, James Widdoes, came up and said, 'What are you doing?' And I said, 'Look at this! There's my name on a stage door in Hollywood!'
-
I'm a big animal fanatic.
-
As told in the final section of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour Christmas CD:
-
I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower.
-
You know as well as I do that the family sitcom was the stalwart of TV for God knows how many decades.
-
after drunkenly getting his ear pierced
-
I used to hunt and fish.
-
I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.'
-
Engvall and his wife have, for three days, had a cement truck in their yard to re-do their porch.
-
On the phone with his wife when the plane he was on stopped after hitting a deer.
-
after watching the food teasing scene in '9 1/2 Weeks'
-
I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes.
-
In syndication, the biggest buyers are car dealerships.
-
Ron White's son is going on a direct flight from Austin, Texas to Houston, Texas and is talking to the flight attendant.
-
Engvall is in the park flying a kite with his son.
-
Now people live into their 90s and beyond. As long as I have quality of life, I'm good.
-
about an incident in a coffee shop