Bill Engvall Quotes
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Larry's grandmother has died at age 104
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I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
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I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.'
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I have been passed over on some things because people didn't think I was edgy enough. But the people who took those gigs are gone now, and I am still here.
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It's fun being Bill Engvall.
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in the lost luggage office in Buffalo
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Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist.
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It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.
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A friend bought two cakes for his wife's birthday, with a '3' on one and an '8' on the other.
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When 'Blue Collar TV' was on the 'WB,' we were their second-highest rated show, but they didn't know what to do with us. They had 'Reba,' which was number one, and we were number two, and they didn't want to be known as the hayseed network, so they kind of dropped us, even though we were pulling great numbers.