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No sooner my kids leave their friends than they start texting them. And it's all in code in a language I totally don't understand.
Bill Engvall
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Engvall's car breaks down on a highway, there's smoke pouring out of the hood, and a motorist stops to help him.
Bill Engvall
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I'm a blue collar guy.
Bill Engvall
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I thought 'RV' stood for 'Recreational Vehicle.' No! It stands for 'Ruins Vacations.'
Bill Engvall
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A Decade of Laughs (2004)
Bill Engvall
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about how he and his wife can't go out on a date, since they're married
Bill Engvall
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I don't have big time celebrity friends - I'm just a guy.
Bill Engvall
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The one thing people like about my show is it's universal. Everybody can relate to it. I think people enjoy going to a show and saying, 'Something like that happened to me.'
Bill Engvall
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I'm from Texas. You would think my biggest draw would be in that state. But my biggest draw is Pennsylvania.
Bill Engvall
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Engvall is in an office elevator going up.
Bill Engvall
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People all over are finding themselves in jobs they never thought they'd be in.
Bill Engvall
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taking a vacation with his family in Costa Rica
Bill Engvall
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I love playing the bitter guy.
Bill Engvall
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My belief is that if we take away that right to bear arms, the only people that are going to have them are... the ones breaking into your house.
Bill Engvall
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I love stand up, but every year, the road takes a little more out of you.
Bill Engvall
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Engvall and his buddy get off a boat with a big string of bass.
Bill Engvall
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(mimicking a big fish talking to a little fish)
Bill Engvall
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I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just wear signs. And, man, it just took off.
Bill Engvall
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Larry's grandmother has died at age 104
Bill Engvall
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Here's Your Sign: Live! (2004)
Bill Engvall
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Engvall has an elk hung on the wall.
Bill Engvall
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I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time.
Bill Engvall
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Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down.
Bill Engvall
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I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
Bill Engvall
