Bill Engvall Quotes
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Who applies for that job? Who says 'I want to work in lost luggage'? You don't have a good day. That's like having a job emptying port-a-potties. You're just going to catch crap all day long.
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After Bill is exhausted at a baseball fantasy camp, walking crooked.
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I love playing the bitter guy.
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(mimicking a big fish talking to a little fish)
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I always wanted to be an actor. I always wanted to be John Wayne.
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Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down.
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Engvall is in an office elevator going up.
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about how he and his wife can't go out on a date, since they're married
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I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just wear signs. And, man, it just took off.
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My belief is that if we take away that right to bear arms, the only people that are going to have them are... the ones breaking into your house.
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I don't have big time celebrity friends - I'm just a guy.
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I'm a blue collar guy.
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I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time.
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I've really got no complaints.
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People all over are finding themselves in jobs they never thought they'd be in.
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His explanation for the 'signs'
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Here's Your Sign: Live! (2004)
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15 Degrees Off Cool (2007)
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during a bit about dogs
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his plan to prevent potential boyfriends from taking advantage of his daughter