David Sedaris Quotes
I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.

Quotes to Explore
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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Often, a serial killer has no felony record.
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I'm such a fan of Shailene Woodley, so I'm super excited to see all her stuff. She's an awesome actress.
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I introduce her as the love of my life everywhere that we go. She introduces me as her current husband. So you can see how the relationship kinda works here.
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Eighteenth-century matrons would have never have dreamed of appointing a redhaired wet nurse for their precious offspring - redheads passed on their horrible characters through their milk.
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My dad's name is Vernon and my mom liked the initials, V. V. My sisters and I got named Victoria, Valerie and Vincent so we'd be V. V.'s, too. But, then when you start getting pets' names that start with a 'v,' it's a little embarrassing.
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It's true: a lot of sportspeople really struggle to find something to do when they finish. It tips them into all sorts of strange things. With ex-footballers, it's really scary. I think 70% of them get divorced within five years. It's hard. You go from being really famous to not that famous. Your salary drops through the floor.
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I'm very happy with the choices I've been making and the people I've been working with. I hope I can continue along this path.
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We're here to win. We're not here just for the experience.
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Disapproval of homosexuality cannot justify invading the houses, hearts and minds of citizens who choose to live their lives differently.
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I hate being called a pop star. I hate that.
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I had novels to write, so I wrote them.
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I have been dairy free for several years, and I started because I felt it was going to reduce my allergies, which it did, and help me lose weight, which it did.
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For me retiring wasn't hard once I knew that that was the decision I was going to make.
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Both me and Ishmeet were very naughty. We used to have my grandfather's swords in the house. We used to take all these swords and take all the showpieces Mom had and slice them one by one. He actually locked my nana in the kitchen once for two hours.
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Music is changing so quickly, and the landscape of the music industry itself is changing so quickly, that everything new, like Spotify, all feels to me a bit like a grand experiment.
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If there's 'game' in the title, I'm there! Ready to play!
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Universities are not places where police can come and arrest people. Let the children have a discourse as they want to. They will learn as they move on in life. But to target individuals and institutions is dangerous.
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I can shoot off my big mouth and write my shows and run my shows, and I can recognize how lucky I am because my position is rare and my position is privileged.
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You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
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Theatre can't be done again and again and again and again - it's organic.
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It's a quirk of mine; I love neat garages.
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So many times, I will have people tell me what I did when I was younger. There's so much being written [about] the early Beatles period, and even pre-Beatles period. And people will say, "Oh, he did that because that, and that happened because of that." And I'll be reading and think, "Well, that didn't happen" and, "That's not why I did that." Like anyone's history, you remember what went down better than people who weren't there.
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I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.