Dylan Moran Quotes
-
Everybody does that now. We all take pics… you do the same with holiday photos. You record something to look back on it, even though you’re not really there when you’re taking the picture ‘cause you’re too busy recording it; so you retrospectively go to look back on where you weren’t and tell yourself you had a good time.
-
You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a wall, but if somebody's giving you stuff, if somebody's talking, giving you their take on things, what makes you laugh, generally speaking, is going to be somebody who is telling it in an angry way.
-
I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.
-
I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
-
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
-
I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
-
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
-
I fear we might be losing the basic human facility to be alone - and with that you throw out independent decision-making, what to trust, what not to trust; key stuff - a perilous loss.
-
I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People who look like... they're waiting for a sandwich that's never going to come. I don't know what's wrong with me.
-
That's why the have the programmes presented by 45 guys; 'Hi I'm Ted, I'm Bob, I'm Ralph, I'm Dick, I'm Dale, I'm Nick, I'm Will', and they keep changing all the angles of the camera. 'I'm over here, I'm at this desk, I'm standing here' and Wendy comes up from under the desk with the financial weather.
-
Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.
-
The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.
-
Stand-up came naturally to me because people in Ireland talk. But that's not talking on panel shows; it is structured fun. It reminds me of some tragic aunt clapping her hands and bouncing into a room and announcing we should all play games... and if we don't we are all a rotten spoilsport.
-
I'm very drawn to Eastern Europe, so I like a Hungarian writer who wrote in French called Emil Cioran; he was always good for giving me such a stir.
-
I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.
-
Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.'
-
It turns you into two people: one of you's very nice, you'll go up to total strangers and say, 'Come in, come in, sit down, for God's sake, have something. Have my bed.' And then you'll go up to people you've known and loved all your life and say, 'Get the fuck out of my house! Go on, get out! And leave a tip!'
-
It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
-
I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.
-
America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
-
In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
-
You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
-
I was very into New Order, Joy Division, all of that when I was younger. I had a lot of bootlegs that I saved up my pocket money to buy. I had all the obscure early EPs.
-
I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.