Dylan Moran Quotes
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Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
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So, what else is going on? Music? Fine, here is The Beatles, The Stones come here later this evening, there is The Velvet Underground, Janis Joplin has just gone to lunch. So, do you want something to do in between now and then, I'd grow my hair and fornicate if I were you.
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You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
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I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.
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Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.
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Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. 'What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!'
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If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.
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A lot of the fiction I read growing up was post-war American, and not all of it centers on Manhattan, but around people of the Mad Men generation, people like John Cheever and, in more modern times, Don DeLillo, who I always mention.
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Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
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I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive; in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural; it just depends on how you want to show off.
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The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.
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Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once.
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Do your own thing. Speak in your voice.
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I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?
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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
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I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef.
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The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it; how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.
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I would never really analyse what I do. I leave that to other people - I'm not a critic. I just want to get on with whatever I have in hand, you know? Just try to make the best job of the available material.
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I did throw a lot of eggs into one basket, as you do in your teenage years - 'I am buying these records, I am wearing this'. I did quite a bit of that. You have to do it, wear your stupid shoes, wear your stupid hair.
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I'm really not big on nationalism, to be honest with you. I really don't think it gets people anywhere except near a pile of dead bodies. I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.
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You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
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What I prefer is an audience who listen. And are intelligent. Which I try and assume every audience is. And that if something goes wrong, it's generally my fault and not theirs.
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You know, it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks: 'Daddy, is this organic?' 'Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight! We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!'