Dylan Moran Quotes
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People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
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- Get into the bath.
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What I prefer is an audience who listen. And are intelligent. Which I try and assume every audience is. And that if something goes wrong, it's generally my fault and not theirs.
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There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.
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You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
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You don't need to turn the light switch on and off, again! You have absolutely NAILED DOWN the principle finding of that experiment; when you turn the lights off, daddy can't see ANYTHING. He steps on your toys trying to find you and kill you... And breaks his foot!
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I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
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It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
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I fear we might be losing the basic human facility to be alone - and with that you throw out independent decision-making, what to trust, what not to trust; key stuff - a perilous loss.
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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
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I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.
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I've always been a big consumer of American journalism over the years and had an interest in the history of it and of the press in America; how it has changed.
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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
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My drive to put myself on the line comes from boredom. From that feeling when you go to bed and think, 'What did I do today?' It doesn't have to be something monumental, just a feeling that you really tried to look at something, or look into something.
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I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.
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I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's also relentlessly positive.
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I write all the time, but you just want to be careful what you put out. That's all. You want to have the confidence that you've done what you need to do to it, because otherwise it's an exercise in vanity.
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity.
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Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20.
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You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
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It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra ra ra' in front of people.