Jim Gaffigan Quotes

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

Jim Gaffigan

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• New York City has no need to move on from 9/11 because, in a sense, it moved on days after, moments after.

  

  Karan Mahajan
  • City
  • Moments
  • New York

• The name 'Charmageddon' actually comes from a social technique that I use. Which is, you know, literally obliterating people with charm so that you can get away with saying stuff that no one else could ever get away with, you know?

  

  Hal Sparks
  • People
  • Name
  • Saying

• The last time I had to make a career decision, I was 17. I could have gone to Ballet Theatre or National Ballet of Canada. There were options. But as I became exposed to the Robbins repertoire, I realized that there was a living genius in the house.

  

  Damian Woetzel
  • Time
  • Career
  • House

• Reparations, I believe, are talked about for political reasons, trying to cater for the purpose of getting votes. If Congress was serious about reparations - in '93 and '94 the Democrats controlled the House, the Senate and the White House, and not one single Republican vote was needed for reparations.

  

  J. C. Watts
  • Believe
  • Trying
  • House

• I doubt God would want to touch America's tax code, since it is already located in the third rung of Hell.

  

  Larry J. Sabato
  • God
  • America
  • Doubt

• My skin may have wrinkles but it's because I'm smiling so much. That might sound like some terrible American greetings card, but I feel it's immoral for me to castigate my body for getting older, when it does everything I ask of it.

  

  Olivia Williams
  • May
  • American
  • Body

• Reticulocytes are terminally differentiating red blood cells that do not contain lysosome. Therefore, it was postulated that the degradation of hemoglobin in these cells is mediated by a non-lysosomal machinery.

  

  Aaron Ciechanover
  • Red
  • Blood
  • Cells

• I don't play the bass. I'm not in a band. I tried to think of ways I could touch base with the troops and support what we're doing.

  

  D. B. Sweeney
  • Think
  • Support
  • Band

• I'll only retire in the day I should be dead and they have me buried, and some idiot spell over my casket some stupid gospel stuff.

  

  Ozzy Osbourne Black Sabbath
  • Me
  • Stupid
  • Dead

• Without the ability to talk about government power, there's no way for citizens to make sure this power isn't being misused.

  

  Aaron Swartz
  • Power
  • Government
  • Talk

• When I begin writing, I have no idea what my novels are ultimately going to be about. I don't have a plot. I never consider a theme. I don't make notes or outlines.

  

  Tawni O'Dell
  • Writing
  • Idea
  • Begin

• Body odour (known also as scent of the immortals) is a disgusting condition with an awful, nauseating smell.

  

  Gao Xingjian

• 江山如此多娇，引无数英雄竞折腰。惜秦皇汉武，略输文采；唐宗宋祖，稍逊风骚。一代天骄，成吉思汗，只识弯弓射大雕。俱往矣，数风流人物，还看今朝。

  

  Mao Zedong

• Light in tone, the novel Murphy is Beckett’s response to the therapeutic orthodoxy that the patient should learn to engage with the larger world on the world’s terms.

  

  J. M. Coetzee
  • World
  • Light

• It can take up to 100 chinchillas to make one coat and Jennifer Lopez has one made of 80 of them, all killed by electrocution or having their necks snapped. … Besides, wearing fur makes you look like an old woman!

  

  Natalie Imbruglia
  • Up

• Whenever they tell me children want this sort of book and children need this sort of writing, I am going to smile politely and shut my earlids. I am a writer, not a caterer. There are plenty of caterers. But what children most want and need is what we and they don't know they want and don't think they need, and only writers can offer it to them.

  

  Ursula K. Le Guin
  • Writing
  • Children
  • Book

• The Revolution is in the individual spirit, or it is nowhere. It is for all, or it is nothing. If it is seen as having any end, it will never truly begin. We can’t stop here. We must go on. We must take the risks.

  

  Ursula K. Le Guin
  • Stop
  • Revolution

• I have in general no very exalted opinion of the virtue of paper government.

  

  Edmund Burke
  • Opinion

• I don't like to tell my age. Not because of vanity, but because in 10 years when I look 37, producers will think I'm too old for some parts.

  

  Yvette Mimieux
  • Age

• Seeking is not always the way to find.

  

  Augustus William Hare
  • Way
  • Find
  • Seeking

• Every moment of life brings an opportunity for being conscious of human feeling, in prosperity, in adversity, in all conditions. It costs very little; only a little thought is necessary. There is no greater religion than love. God is love; and the best form of love is to be conscientious regarding the feelings of those with whom we come in contact in everyday life.

  

  Hazrat Inayat Khan
  • Life
  • Opportunity
  • Human Feeling

• In our daily life, we encounter people who are angry, deceitful, intent only on satisfying their own needs. There is so much anger, distrust, greed, and pettiness that we are losing our capacity to work well together.

  

  Meg Wheatley
  • People
  • Life
  • Work

• Man, Twin Peaks ruined me for television. I mean, how can you top a show like that.

  

  Michael Horse
  • Man
  • Television
  • Twin Peaks

• There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

  

  Jim Gaffigan