Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
-
New York City has no need to move on from 9/11 because, in a sense, it moved on days after, moments after.
-
The name 'Charmageddon' actually comes from a social technique that I use. Which is, you know, literally obliterating people with charm so that you can get away with saying stuff that no one else could ever get away with, you know?
-
The last time I had to make a career decision, I was 17. I could have gone to Ballet Theatre or National Ballet of Canada. There were options. But as I became exposed to the Robbins repertoire, I realized that there was a living genius in the house.
-
Reparations, I believe, are talked about for political reasons, trying to cater for the purpose of getting votes. If Congress was serious about reparations - in '93 and '94 the Democrats controlled the House, the Senate and the White House, and not one single Republican vote was needed for reparations.
-
I doubt God would want to touch America's tax code, since it is already located in the third rung of Hell.
-
I'm organized, but receipts tend to mess up my system. They're barbarians! So I store them in a notepad.
-
My skin may have wrinkles but it's because I'm smiling so much. That might sound like some terrible American greetings card, but I feel it's immoral for me to castigate my body for getting older, when it does everything I ask of it.
-
If there is any country on earth where the course of true love may be expected to run smooth, it is America.
-
Reticulocytes are terminally differentiating red blood cells that do not contain lysosome. Therefore, it was postulated that the degradation of hemoglobin in these cells is mediated by a non-lysosomal machinery.
-
I don't play the bass. I'm not in a band. I tried to think of ways I could touch base with the troops and support what we're doing.
-
I'll only retire in the day I should be dead and they have me buried, and some idiot spell over my casket some stupid gospel stuff.
-
I started my first company when I was in my college dorm as a senior with two of my really good friends. We started a company that became SparkNotes.com. You know CliffsNotes? SparkNotes is a modern-day version of that.
-
Without the ability to talk about government power, there's no way for citizens to make sure this power isn't being misused.
-
When I begin writing, I have no idea what my novels are ultimately going to be about. I don't have a plot. I never consider a theme. I don't make notes or outlines.
-
Body odour (known also as scent of the immortals) is a disgusting condition with an awful, nauseating smell.
-
江山如此多娇，引无数英雄竞折腰。惜秦皇汉武，略输文采；唐宗宋祖，稍逊风骚。一代天骄，成吉思汗，只识弯弓射大雕。俱往矣，数风流人物，还看今朝。
-
Light in tone, the novel Murphy is Beckett’s response to the therapeutic orthodoxy that the patient should learn to engage with the larger world on the world’s terms.
-
It can take up to 100 chinchillas to make one coat and Jennifer Lopez has one made of 80 of them, all killed by electrocution or having their necks snapped. … Besides, wearing fur makes you look like an old woman!
-
For he who is unmusical is a child in music; he who is without letters is a child in learning; he who is untaught, is a child in life.
-
Only when we are over, does our real life begin.
-
Yes, influences are enriching, and they can be found in every work of art, even the most original.
-
There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.
